Judge — June 29, 1918 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

True to Her Side—The late John G. Johnson, the Philadelphia lawyer, was once engaged in a case where a certain cantankerous old woman bore witness for the opposition. Her testimony con- cluded, the old woman proposed to leave the witness box, but Mr. Johnson said: “Hold on, madam, I’ve one or two questions to ask you.” The old woman did not halt in her departure. “No, ye don’t,” she said. “None o’ yer questions for me. You ain’t on our side.” —Argonaut. -Unappreciated—Client—After you've let the case drag along for three years, you've lost it for me. Lawyer—That’s all the thanks I get— I might have let it drag along for three years more.—Boston Transcript. An Expert—“I understand that he’s an expert criminal lawyer.” “One of the greatest in the country.” “Yes?” “Why, time and again he has won a favorable verdict for his clients without employing an alienist.” — Birmingham Age-Herald. Complimentary—Lawyer (to judge) —I admit that my client called the plaintiff a hog, but, considering the value of hogs at present, I call that a compli- ment rather than an_ insult.—Boston Transcript. | FRIENDSHIP For the Sake of Old Friendship— “So you are Ephraim Pettingill?” said the man who had returned to the little old town, after an absence of many years. “Yes. And you are little Johnny Murdock? Well, well, well! What changes time brings! Here you are over six feet tall, and you must weigh more than two hundred pounds.” “Yes, six feet two in my socks, and I weigh 220 pounds stripped. Most of it muscle, too. Feel my arm.” “You certainly have a good, hard arm.” “Do you remember the time you licked me in school?” “No. We never had any trouble in school, did we?” “T told you that day that I’d never be happy till I had paid you off for the black eye you gave me.” “That's funny. I don’t remember that you and I ever had a quarrel at all.” And Next It May Be Thumb-Tacks “ Plains-toi donc! on vient de classer tes crotites parmi les objects de luxe!” “I call that tough! They've gone and taxed war sketches as ‘unnecessary luxuries.’ "—La Baionnette (Paris). “When I told you I was coming back some day to settle matters with you, you sneered at me and said I’d never see the time when I could whip one side of you. Feel my left arm. That was my right which you felt before.” Say, Johnny, why should you and I—” “Don’t ‘Johnny’ me! I’ve come back to keep the promise I made myself that day in the school grounds, unless——” “Yes, yes. What can I do for you?” “Well, I’m trying to get the right-of- way through here for a trolley line, and I thought maybe you'd be willing to be the first to sign my petition.” “Johnny, I wouldn’t do it for anybody else on earth, but, just for the sake of our old friendship, let me have your paper.”— Dayton News. Expressing a Negative—"‘Any chance to borrow $so from you for a few days?” “Do you think Nicholas Romanoff has any chance to ‘come back’?”” “No.” “You get my meaning?” “Sure. Good day.” — Birmingham Age-Herald. comicbooks.com