Judge — June 29, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Dodging His Nemesis worried about his folks as he is about his automobile.” —Washington Star. Especially if Pretty—‘‘Would you hide behind a woman’s petticoats?” “Not exactly, but I find it just as well to let your wife do the talking when you are held up by a traffic cop.”—Louis- ville Couricr-Journal. LAW and LAWYERS| Her Desire—Her legal _adviser— Madam, you have had three husbands, and every one of them either went crazy or turned out to be worthless. Yet you are thinking of marrying again! Fair client—Yes, sir. I want a safe and sane fourth.—The Green Bag. Rough Choice—The burglar’s wife was in the witness box, and the prosecu- ting counsel was conducting a vigorous cross-examination. Head Waiter of the Restaurant De Rampe (which has driven its customers away by its scandal- ously profiteering charges): “Hélas, monsieur, vat sall ve do? Ze dinner is ready, and not a single patron in sight!” “Madam, are you the wife of this Desperate Proprietor— Ah, mon Dieu! Go, Alphonse—write up quickly, ‘Hors d’ ceuvres, © man?” cheese, dessert and coffee, free’—and charge them all on to napkins!” —Passing Show (London). “Yes.” “You knew he was a burglar when you For Repairs—Guest—How much did married him?” HONK! HONK! you ever get out of your car? “Yes.” Owner—Well, I think seven times in “How did you come to contract a one mile is my record.—M ilestones. matrimonial alliance with such a man?” Paste This in Your Ford in Japan— “Well,” said the witness sarcastically. You must drive your automobile at the Solicitude—‘‘Is Chuggins considerate ‘‘I was getting old and had to choose be- speed of eight knots per hour on the city of his family?” tween a lawyer and a burglar.” roads and at twelve knots per hour on the “T should say so. There are times The cross-examination ended there.— | country roads. when he seems to be almost as much Detroit Free Press. When you see the policeman throwing up his hand you must not drive in front of Not Exactly the Smoke of Battle him. When you get ahead of the passenger on foot or the horse, you must ring the horn. When you mect the cow or the horse speed slowly and take care to ring the | horn and not been afraid of them. Drive slowly when you meet the horse or the cattle, do not make them afraid and carefully make the sound. If they afraid the sound you must escape a little while at the side of the road till they pass away. Do not drive the motor-car when you get drunk and do not smoke on the driver seat.—Japan Chronicle. Kind and Gentle—‘“ What kind of a car do you want?” “One that is perfectly safe for a woman to drive.”"—Kansas Cily Journal. News Items—There have been distributed among the German soldiers pipes carved in the be aera ene xe WAS jikeness of the Kaiser, the Crown Prince, Hindenburg, ete. the turning point in Jiggsby’s career. Sopat Stroatese—"Le kronprins—en tite de pipe—e’cst la premitre fois qu'on le soit & la a How so? a . tete de ses troupes.” His auto turned turtle.”"—Baltimore —_Singalese Soldier— “The Crown Prince—well, well! First time he was ever secn in front of American. his men." —Le Péle-Méle (Paris). The Turning Point—“ Yesterday was comicbooks.com