Judge — June 15, 1918 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eeaeemmnrsmmmnin tS mc ———e DoE June 15, 1918 You Can’t Help Helping— Someone By A. N. Gray HEN you say “I'll think it over” W Then the Kaiser is in clover, And he burns another church to celebrate. For he knows procrastination Is the hope of hs salvation, And he prays you'll make your mind up, just too late. When you say “perhaps” or “maybe” Then he bayonets a baby. (When you please him, he’s as playful as a cat.) When you say “I can’t afford it” Then a ship, with all aboard it, Is sunk to show his gratitude for that. When some luxury enticing Lures you 'way from sacrifici And you spend, instead of giving as you should, Then, although your conscience spanks you, Just remember, Tirpitz thanks you, ‘And von Hindenburg would kiss you if he cculd. Each unpatriotic action Gives the Hun some satisfaction. So be heedful, quite, of everything you do, Lest, in his appreciation, He exceed your expectation, And name a bridge, across the Rhine, for you. The Power of the Press 633RD AERO SquapRoN, Ketty Fiero, San Antonio, Texas, ApRIL 24TH, 1918. Editor of Judge: I can confirm your statement that Judge is “The Happy Medium”—in more ways than one—Humorous and Ad- vertising. As a result of one or two con- tributions of mine which you published extremely interesting girl friends. “It pays to advertise.” Ernest L. Fotk, Jr. N.B. Young ladies who correspond with the soldier contributors to this paper will confer a favor by always mentioning “Judge.” —Ep. Solved “T can never love you,” she said to her ardent suitor, “but I will be a sister to you.” “My sisters beg me for money,” he warned. “And I kiss them every day.” “Then I will be a friend,” she evaded. well,” he consented. ‘Lend me ten dollars.” And so he solved the baffling problem of woman’s inconsistency, for she fled from his sight. - F you want to become close friends of the heroes and heroines of the screen that you have seen in theatres you can meet them in Film Fun. Incidentally you will get a generous share of good, hearty laughter along with a lot of striking pictures of the big plays soon to be released. Mary Pickford Tells Some Startling Movie Truths ilm Fun roe “c —2BS | Ten Famous 10 Cents Contributors a Copy Maneatis at all the newsstands “See The Following in the June issue (now on sale) are unusually interesting and instructive: some time ago I have acquired a few more | —ILLUSTRATED FEATURES— —Linpa A. GrirFitH —Mary Pickrorp —Pauuine FReperick —Epbna Goopricu —Ouca Petrova —Georce Besan Comments of a Free Lance The Real Future of the Films Personality on the Screen The Importance of Being Well-Dressed Should a Sereen Artist Have a Mind? Making the Heart Throb with the Camera Pictorial- History of the Kiss—The Cowpuncher as a Human Being Daintiness That Counts The Spirit of the Red Cross Cameraized Careers True Art in the Movies. Geraldine Farrar) Why I Left My Mustache Behind When Wall Street Overflowed Hooverizing To Beat the (Waist) Band —Wattace Rei —June Caprice —James Montcomery Fiacc —Macarita Fiscner (A prophecy by —Jessie Nites Burness —Cuaruie CHapiin —Douctas Farrpanks —Fatry (Roscor) ARBUCKLE Also timely editorials, verse and “‘funnygraphs” and art por- traits of leading stars. FILM FUN 225 Fifth Avenue New York City ean ||