Judge, 1918-06-15 · page 22 of 36
Judge — June 15, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* collects brief humorous anecdotes mocking exaggeration and tall tales. **"Some Liars"** section features farmers and a salesman competing to tell increasingly absurd stories about potato bugs studying seed catalogs before planting—satirizing rural boasting and one-upmanship. **"Association of Ideas"** cartoon shows a man telling his mother-in-law he's thinking of her, a joke about marital anxiety. **"The Telephone"** section contains brief quips about telephone culture: that they save time only depending on who calls, that an unattractive singer should work for a phone company, that neighbors hide phones to avoid being found, and an anecdote about a woman eavesdropping on party lines and interrupting to comment on someone's burning beans—satirizing the new technology's social disruptions and the lack of privacy on shared telephone lines. The **"Golf"** section mocks golf obsessives who talk about golf constantly, even at work.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOME LIARS German Potato-Bugs—“The way Germany prepared for a generation for this war was po: ly uncanny,” said a Congressman. “ Yt 's forty years of -preparation is as uncanny as the story of the potato-bugs. “On an autumn evening a group of Minnesota farmers sat around the fire in the general store and complained of the potato-bugs’ ravages. “*The pests ate my whole potato crop in two weeks,’ said one farmer. “ «They ate my crop in two days,’ said a second farmer, ‘and then they roosted on the trees to see if I'd plant more.’ “A drummer for a seed-house cleared his throat. “Gents,” he said, ‘all that's very re- markable. Let me tell you, though, what I saw in our own store. I saw a couple of potato-bugs examining the books about a week before planting time to see who had bought seed.’ "—IWashington Star. A Cyclone’s Work—“ Once in Texas, I came upon a tall chimney, like a fac- tory chimney, rising in an arid waste. “*Friend,’ I said to a native, ‘what is that chimney doing there?’ “*That ain't no chimney,’ said the native. “It’s a well.’ Association of Ideas Eh bien, mon gendre, d quoi pensez-oous?” Mais—d cous, belle-maman!” “Well, Harold, what are you thinking of?” “Of—of you, mother-in-law!" —Le Péle-Méle (Paris). Entirely Proper She—I don't think we should be rigged up like this in war-times. He—Why not? ‘The artist who made us is in the British camouflage Corps.—The Bystander (London). “*A well?’ said I. “*Ves,’ said he. ‘It’s old Jeff Thatch- er’s well. A cyclone turned her upside down and inside out.’” —Washington Star. He Used to Have One—A dear old lady had been presented with a parrot from the Congo, and she was showing it to her old gardener. “You know, Joseph, that this parrot comes from the Congo, and the Congo parrots are so intelligent that they are almost human. This bird whistles ‘Home, Sweet Home’ so beautifully that the tears run down his beak.” “Yes, mum,” re- turned Joseph, “I know them parrots from the Congo. I used to have one, and it whistled ‘The Village Black- smith’ so naturally that sparks used to fly fromits blooming tail.” —Buffalo Commercial. THE TELEPHONE Not Always—"Telephones are great time-savers, aren’t they?” “Well, that depends upon who calls you up.”—London Answers. Her Place—‘Couldn’t you give this girl art in your musical comedy?” ‘ot with that face.” She has a beautiful voice.” “Her place is with a telephone com- pany.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Hiding the Telephone—Mrs. Flat- bush—I see both the transmitter and re- ceiver of a telephone of French invention can be hidden in a flower vase or any table ornament. Mr. Flatbush—That’s fine! Get it any old place where those troublesome neighbors can’t find it!—Yonkers States- man, Listening In—Mrs. Klean Kitchen took down the telephone receiver and discovered that the line was in use. “I just put on a pan of beans for dinner,” she heard one woman complacently in- forming another. She hung up the re- ceiver and waited. Three times she waited, and then, exasperated, she broke into the conversation. “ Madam, I smell your beans burning,” she announced crisply. A horrified scream greeted the remark, and Mrs. K. K. was able to put in her call.—Scranton Times. | GOLF Two Nuisances —" Met a man on the golf links who insists on talking shop.” “We have worse. We have a man who puts in all his time at the shop talking golf." —Washington Star. Keeping Up the Game — “Smith is a great golf bug, isn’t he?” said Brown. “Yes,” replied Jones. “He kept his hand in all winter and had practise every day.” “But how could he practise in winter when the links are closed?” asked Brown. “We walked down-town every motn- ing, and every two hundred yards he would swing at an imaginary ball with his cane,” replied Jones. “Then he would cuss a blue streak and when he got down- town he would drink a Scotch highball.” —Milwaukee Sentinel. comicbooks.com XUM