Judge — June 15, 1918 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hallucination—" You can’t tell ‘bout a display of authority,” said Uncle Eben. “Many a man thinks he’s doin’ a fine job o’ mule-drivin’ when de mule is jest hurryin’ to get home on his own account.” -Washington Star. His Preference—"I wish to look at some fountain pens.” “Yes, sir. Now, what do you wish in the way of a fountain pen?” “Well, I'd prefer one that throws a jet rather than a spray.”—Kansas City Journal. His Stock in Trade—Tourist—To what do you attribute your great age? Oldest inhabitant—I can’t say yet, sir. There are several o’ them patent medi- cine companies a-dickerin’ with me. —Boston Transcript. Those Summer Furs—‘I’m kind 0° hopeful it’s goin’ to be a cool summer,” remarked the man with the subdued air. “Are you a weather prophet?” “No. But my daughter is wonder- fully smart. “And she’s buying more furs this spring than she did last.”"—IWashing- ton Star. | POLITICIANS b | Sometimes—“ Do you believe the old assertion that a politician is a statesman out of a job?” “Not altogether,” replied Senator Sor- ghum. “Sometimes a statesman gets a job and turns politician trying to hold on to it.”—Washington Star. Proof of Authorship—‘The tor’s speech was an able effort.” “Unquestionably “Do you suppose he wrote it himself, or his private secretary? “T noticed it contained several gram- matical errors the senator usually makes, so I guess he wrote it himself.” —Birming- ham Age-Herald sena- The Difference—“ What's the differ- ence betwe2n a patriot and a hero?” “They’te about the same thing,” re- plied Senator Sorghum, ‘only a hero isn't popularly expected to be as much of a public speaker.” —IWashing- ton Star. Indefinite—Bobby (entertaining sis- ter’s beau)— told me yesterday you was born to be a politician. Mr. Simpton—A politician? Why does she think that? Ably Guided C2) Le Boucnevix—Tu m’ emménes faire la Récolution sociale, n'est-ce pas?” Bolshevik—You're taking me to the grand Social Revolution, aren't you?— (Paris) Bobby—That’s what ma asked her, and she said because you can do so much talkin’ without committing your- self.—Dallas News. Nor Forgotten She—Did your uncle remember you when he made his w He—I think so—he left me out of it.— Bystander (London). -La Victoire WET AND DRY In North-Central Texas—At Strawn, Jim Hamill told me that he had a boy seven years old who had never scen it rain. He said the kid had always been asleep the two or three times that it did tain in the past seven years, but that the youngster saw it snow last winter. War- ren Wagner, an oi! well contractor at Strawn, was in the crowd and stated that there were bull frogs in the Palo Pinto creck bottoms four and five years old that had never learned to swim. Water is worth money at Ranger and other places in the drought district and the man who would be so reckless as to bathe in it would be in danger of losing his life by mob violence.—Oil Trade Journal. afraid Bacchus Also Ran—I am that your son is a follower of Bacchus, said the preacher who was calling on old Gotrox. “A follower!” exclaimed old Gotrox. “Why, he caught up with that guy Bacchus and passed him years ago!” —Milwaukee Sentinel. That Morning-After Feeling—Reed —According to this article Edison says that a man’s head expands when he thinks deeply. Rounder—Must be a misprint for “drinks.”"—Boston Transcript.