Judge — June 8, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tent aud De teezes Military and Naval Jupce pays $1 each for original jokes sent by soldiers and sailors and accepted for publication, and each week $5 is awarded for the best original joke received The Rubaiyat of Omycamp By Rocen Daxters, Fort Oglethorpe, Ga, IRAWL OUT! for First Call in the Dead of Night Comes through the Cold that makes me Long to Fight; And Oh! the Sergeant’s Voice is at my Ear ‘So I must needs Be Up before the Light. Come cut the Wood, get Water from the Spring ‘And thousand-thousand Duties round me Fling; The war department's Tape may Find a Way— Heigh, Ho! I yet may hear the Bullets Sing. And those who Grimly Held to last month's Pay, And those who Flocked to Town on that Great Day; What matters it to Both, on Furlough bent— *The C. O. shakes his Head and answers, Nay!" Here with a Plate of Beans beneath my Tent, *A Bowl of Slum, an Idle Curse—I went Away with Singing. But I now Confess “The Song and Singer both are Badly Bent. Ah! blow the Call, glad sound we name “Retreat,” “All day the Mud has slipped beneath my Feet; Tt was as though the Night would Never Come, Blow on and let each Note be Passing Sweet. Some sigh for Canteen Checks, and some there are Who'd Gamble all, if they could Take the Car "That goes to Town—Alas! poor Sentry, I— Who chants his Longings to the Evening Star. If I to Town could w +Forgetful of that Chic ‘en though the Pro juard may bring me Back— Smile on Sweet Night—what boots the Coming Day. Yet think, within this Mighty Training Camp, So far from Wine or Soubrette’s knowing Vamp Some from the “Heaven” saw, some from the “ Pit" — Now All are Leveled by the Army’s Stamp. Open Formation By Lievrexaxt B. B. Serwoce, 324th Infantry A negro Sergeant was drilling a squad of day- old rookies in the position of attention. Suddenly he noticed the posture of one of the men in the rear rank who was evidently a bit bow-legged. * “Stand at ‘tention, nigger,” he barked se at ‘tention, Sa’gent.” Nigger, from yo’ knees up you's at ‘tention, but from dem knees down you's at ‘route step!” The General Puts It Over By Pawste Wruuias J. Rien, Batt. D, 108th P. A. An army corps without engineers came to a river which could be crossed only by building a bridge. An orderly reported the situation to his Gene The great General replied: “Report back to your commander and tell him it will be all right.” “But, sir,” inquired the puzzled orderly, “how shall I say the army is to get across?” . The sage strategist looked at him inscrutably and said: “I will think it over.” Drawn by C. J. Dow, U. Rookie (Aspi all the salt in Old Timer “bone-dust! to be * Sea-going ”)—Lookit hair! That ain't salt, you boob, that’s This Week’s $5 Prize Winner By Pravate Wiitano E. Bacu, Af Co., jth Reg. MoM. Avia tion Corp 'S the troop train halted, a big husky negro poked his head out of the window and asked: “Say, boss, what you-all call dis?” Plainfield.” id, boss, twhat State am dis?” Jersey—Plainfield, N. J." * “Well, well! Ah dun been travelin’ on dis yere train fo’ foah days an’ foak nights. Where de debbil am dis yere France, anyway?” “New Me Same as War Dogs By Puvate Hannay Wreorr, 2it Company, 158d Brigade Private—We are paid the same as the war dogs. Sergeant—How’s that? Prisate—One bone per day. Had a Fit Drawn by Lixut. J. V Rapcurre, ‘amp Pike, Ark. Well. all fitted out, eh? Honest Cap’ain, the only thing they gave wot fits, is my hat-cord! Answering the Call By Private M. V. Stxo, 304th Infantry Medical Corps A new company of black recruits was lined up. The Sergeant called them to attention. “Stand to roll-call. Answer ‘here’ as your name is called. Columbus Amberberry.” Silence. “Columbus Amberberry!”” nce. “Columbus Amberberry !”” There was a stir to the right and a heavy voice answered: ‘Heya Ah am, boss! Comin’ right yu.” Democracy in the Army By Fost Laccresant Jouy F Haut, Camp Sherman, Chillicothe, It was early one Saturday afternoon, and the railroad station near one of the National Army Camps was filled with soldiers, starting on week- end passes. It was nearly train time when a big colored recruit entered the waiting room. His new uniform, and the way he wore it, gave away the fact that he was the greenest of rookies. He gave a hopeless glance at the long line formed to buy tickets at the window. “They don’ seem to be no chance fo’ a niggah to get a ticket heah,” he remarked. Then he happened to see his captain in the line, nearly up to the ticket window. He approached the captain with all the confidence in the world, held out a bill to him and said—or rather ordered: “Heah’s a dollah, cap’n. You get me a ticket to the city. Ah’ll be a waitin’ right ovah yondah by that doah.” Having a sense of humor, the captain gravely complied. Equipped—Except as Regards Brains By FN. Ayset, Hq. 0. T.S., Camp Doniphan Being the next Company to shoot on the range, the Lieutenant was finding the gun-shy, so as to know whom to coach. Lieutenant—Are you gun-shy, Private Jones? Private Jones (reaching over in the stack and taking his gun)—No, sir; here is my gun. Who Wouldn't By J.D. McMaster, U.S. Naval Air Station, Miami, Fla I never saw a German sub, T have small hope of seein’ one, But, I am sure that, anyhow, I'd rather see than be in one. A Matter of Address By Puwvare L.G. Ducacuet, U. C., Quantico, Va. The Drill Sergeant had several times reminded the recruits to have their mail addressed to them as Private So-and-So. One private was especially delinquent in this respect. At last his letters arrived addressed: “Mr. David Goldberg, Private Department.” comicbooks.com