Judge — June 8, 1918 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| JOURNALISM Shut Out—*Can't I see the editor myself?” demanded the spring poet “No,” replied the militant office boy. You must remain in the bard zone.”— w York Sun. Jingler—‘I have here a little jingle—" began the poet. “I’m very busy today,” said the edi- tor. “Would you mind placing it in our jingle basket over there, as you go out?” “But that’s a waste paper basket.” “Quite true. At this time of the year it holds more jingles than anything else.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Variable Functionary—‘ Are you the editor?” asked the merry villager, as he shoved open the door of the office of the Punkintown Gazette. “Tt all depends,” replied the man with fringy hair, “on whether you want to make a kick or pay your subscription.” —Brooklyn Citizen. The Slick Reporter—There’s a cer- tain eastern newspaper editor who— like many others in other sections—had a notice stuck up above his desk, read- ing: “Accuracy! Accuracy! Accuracy!” And this notice he always pointed out to new reporters. One day the youngest member of the staff came in with his report of a pub- lic meeting. The editor read it through, War Time Dress Perplexities That Bugaboo Gun El cand kolossal que los alemanys disparen sobre Paris. The intrepid Huns achieve long-range Schrecklichkeit.—Esquella (Barcelona). (A cartoon chick evidently annoyed the Spanish censor, who has put his X mark on the picture.) and came to the sentence, “Three thou- sand nine hundred and ninety-nine eyes were fixed upon the speaker.” “What do you mean by making a silly blunder like that?” he demanded, wrathfully. “But it’s not a blunder,” protested the youngster. “There was a one- eyed man in the audience.”—Dead Line. a, The war lady—Will you show me to the underclothine department, please? The shopzealker—Certainly; er—men’s or women’s?—Passing Show (London). | DOCTORS | A Sure Cure—“Ethylhydrocuprein- hydrochloride,” proclaims a physician, “is a sure cure for pneumonia, ” which may not interest you particularly, but it is great practice in the proofroom.— Buffalo News. Treatment—The candidate for medi- cal honors was having a hard time answer- ing the questions put to him. Finally one of the professors asked: “‘ How would you sweat a patient for the rheuma- tism?”” “T would send him here to be exam- ined,” said the student, mopping nis beaded brow.—Boston Transcript. Unfeeling—The doctor and the law- yer had a difference one evening. “T tell you,” the lawyer later told a clergyman, “doctors are callous brutes, with not a spark of human feeling within them.” “Come, come,” replied the clergyman. trying to calm his friend, “that is rather a sweeping statement, you know.” “Not a bit of it,” declared the lawyer. “Why, when I was ill a few weeks ago and suffering untold agonies, I sent for the doctor. ‘Doctor,’ I moaned, ‘I’m suffer- ing the torments of hell.’ ‘What! Al- ready,’ was his unfeeling retort.”— Minneapolis Tribune. comicbooks.com