Judge, 1918-06-08 · page 18 of 36
Judge — June 8, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous anecdotes and satirical material typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine. **"Wet and Dry" section**: Brief jokes about alcohol consumption, including a historical anecdote about King William IV comparing an empty bottle to a marine soldier (a joke about duty completed). **"The German Army 'Advances'" cartoon**: A stark skull imagery with the caption "Sia fatta la volonta del—Kaiser!" (The Kaiser's will be done). This appears to be **WWI-era anti-German satire**, depicting German military advancement as death and destruction. The skull symbolizes the cost of the Kaiser's war ambitions. **"An Awful Encounter"** and **"Perfectly Normal"** sections**: Light humor about Prohibition and its social effects—noting that prominent citizens now have hangovers from bed-time drinking. **"Optimism" section**: Two anecdotes satirizing delusional optimism—one about a man buying a raffle ticket for a car then building a garage, another about a poor man ordering oysters hoping to find pearls inside to pay for them.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WET and DRY | A Marine—William IV possessed on occasion a ready tact which is so happy as to be wit. The story runs that, when dining with several officers, he ordered a waiter to “take away that marine,” pointing to an empty bottle. “Your Majesty!” exclaimed one of the officers, “do you compare an empty bottle to a member of our branch of the service?” “Yes,” answered the king. “I mean to say it has done its duty once, and is ready to do it again.” —Tit-Bits. Shocked—‘‘Some people don’t know how to use whisky.” “That's right. Found my brother last night using it externally.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. The German Army ‘Advances’ Sia fatta la volonta det—Kaiser! ‘The Kaiser's will be done!—L’d sino (Rome). Incorrigible—“‘If you don't drinking, you won’t live five years.” “Oh, come now, doctor. Surely I’m good for five “Well, may : “That suits me. I'll be willing to die then, because I will probably shuffle off this mortal coil just about the time the last quart of liquor is being consumed ‘somewhere in America.’ —Birmingham Age-Herald. stop Suggestion—“ Will you take some- thing to drink?” asked the photographer. “With pleasure,” the sitter replied. The photograph was taken and the sitter said: “But what about that little invita- tion?” “Oh, that’s just a professional ruse of mine to give a natural, interested expres- sion to the face.”"—Tit- Bits. An Awful Encounter “Comment! Blessé, le petit Chose?. quel miracle?” ‘par “Ok! une blessure bien innocente—une épingle d chapeau, dans le métro!” “What! that little mamma's darling wounded? By what miracle?” “Oh, nothing serious, Jabbed by a hatpin in the Subway.” —La Baionnette (Paris). Perfectly Normal—‘t hibition work in this tow “Like a charm, some of the brethren w does pro- A great many of our prominent citizens now get up with the same kind of heads they go to bed with.”—Birming- ham Age-Herald. Proved It—‘Do you people in Crim- son Gulch b in prohibition now?” “Believe in it!” echoed Broncho Bob. “We've got to believe in it. They’ve proved it on us.”—IWashington Star. OPTIMISM | Two of a Kind—‘Talk about optim- ists,” said Furbiston; “have you heard the story about Woolby?” “No,” said his friends. “Well, the folk in the town where he lives are getting up a raffle in aid of char- ity. There are to be ten thousand tickets. at sixpence each, and the prize is a motor car. Woolby took one ticket. Now he’s busy erecting a garage.” “Not bad,” said Johnson, “It re- minds me of Joe Kelly. Ever heard of him?” “No,” said the others. “Well, Joe was poor, but he often used to go to a fashionable restaurant without a halfpenny in his pocket, and order a fine oyster supper. He calculated upon paying for it with the pearls he hoped to find in the oysters.” —Tit-Bits. comicbooks.com