Judge — June 1, 1918 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Jone 1, 1918 W With the Gllege Wits Trrepressible, Joyous, The Food Conserver'’s Lament I DO without wheat with great pleasure, T eat all the grub on my plates; And thoughts of sweet steak I ne’er treasure On anti-carnivorous dates. Thave starved till my palate’s quite dazed, For the sake of this food conservation; But my stomach is full, and I’m crazed With a surfeit of food conversation. —Lampoon. Don't Mind! He-male—What's the trouble, dear? Ske-male—She called me an old cat. He-male—But don’t mind that; you're not old at all—Punch Borel. The First Thing “And dear,” said the fair young thing as he was leaving, “what would be the first thing you would do if I should send you a telegram saying that I would be down in Ap “Why, I would pay for it.”—Froth. She was fourth from the end in the chorus— a slender brunette, and she smiled when I winked at her. So I went back to the stage door. Another chap came out with her, but she called tome and said: “Oh, come here—I want you to COPY THIS SKETCH sat let's see what you can do with it. Cartoon= Sistt Waters gare tom $30.00 te $125.00 sieeve per werk. My practical meet my son.”—Punch Bowl. = oe Ke seuai lndvvideal. lessons by mall will develop Teulene_Fincen yeas, succeniul work fev Sewicapers ‘qualites me to teach fou Send sketch of (Seca som ‘with écla stamps, fet lesson plate ; al collection of drawings shoving pomibilities tor YOU. State your agee The Landon School Serene. Schofield Building, AGE'S GLUE cu TuBEs WILL MEND IT E trespousible As You Were, Men! “But, Madge,” queried a cluster of wide-eyed girls, “weren't you dreadfully frightened when that soldier tried to put his arms around you? What in the world did you do?” “Oh, that was e I just yelled ‘Attention!’ and he was perfectly helpless.” —Gargoyle. An Inspiration Artic—I just thought of a good plot for a movie. Benny—What is it like? -Artie—The cru-el father comes out and finds his cast-off son covering the front of the house with white paint. Benny—Uh—huh. Artie—And then the cru-cl father says to the son: “Whad d’ye mean by that?” Benny—Uh—huh. Artie—And then the cast-off son repli am doing this because you told me n darken your door again.”—Punch Bowl. Well, Then. He—Want to go to the movies? She—I'd like to, but I haven’t any clothes. He—Well, then, we'll go to the opera. (Wrapped in thought and wearing a smile she entered the box.)—Leigh Burr, Brilliant Thought “I'll whishel the Star Shpangled Banner and make her stand up.”—Lampoon. Taken Up Art Miss Peachy—Marianne has a new hobby. She’s taken up art. John Quincy—Yeah? Art who?—Widow. In Paris In Paris a delicate Mme. Traced her pedigree backward to Ame. When she dressed up like Eve In a smile and leaf All the boys on the Bois said she Hme. —Tiger. Ah, isn’t this cute! “The Curse of Drink" This picture proved one of Judge's most popular subjects and has reprinted, in full colors, mounted on a heavy mat, II x 14, ready for the frame. It will be mailed post free dor twenty-five cents, stamps. Judge Art Print Department 225 Fifth Avenue New York City Moving the Queen Corpulent occupant of the front scat—Hey, young feller, would you mind telling me some- C.0.0. F. S.—Do you play chess? C.. 0. 0. Pr. S—Well, move your queen.— Williams’ Purple Cow. Those Froshes Frosh (excitedly)—Father, I passed Shakes- peare today. Father (the poor fish)—Did he Panther. speak ?— Logical “Son, why are you always behind with your studies?” “So that dear.” Burr. I may pursuc them, father You Can't Lose Your Keys Ur yoe carry them in DANDA LEATHER KEY-CASE WITH YOUR NAME y STAMPED IN GOLD 35 nba 60c han” , Oc Terbritste BSc Terhe the intima Beier Pouce. "Serene aise perry DANDA MFG CO., 141 Fabtes St, .Y. comicbooks.com