Judge — June 1, 1918 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“I Would Rather Have a Bottle of Evans NON-INTOXICATING The Inconsistent Villager By Mary Grauam Bonner & HE Village,” is the name by which I that section of New York is known where live the authors, real and in- different, poets, those who write verses, and those who write nondescript things, artists who dabble in paints and artists who paint pictures. It is the Bohemia of New York. Its characters are as Leslie-Judge I? — i strange as those any village can boast. A An¢ One, however, reveals strange incon- Representatives WANTED On sistencies. A In Small Towns and Country Districts Ih NO SOVERINENT “Have you seen the last musical iid Fo | comedy?’ once asked her, WE jrant you to help us introduce to the Grevides ae Than All the Fizz Beverages in the Land” “Certainly not!” she said haughtily. and the tiagscian of the feeigA nipresrenpetctiad Wi Writes one who has tried it Up-to-Date Grocers. Draccists and Dealers C,H. EVANS & SON: ‘abt HOTEL FLANDERS WA YORE TY 2UST OFF. BROADWAY Tehrary, ert and tree ‘Seplevad, otal Handsomety Furnished Boome, | Private Bath 00 PER DAY UPWA\ Siew va $2: Prom Grund Cwstral Station, cure marked ‘easter wraheeys eteet tater Irseantata ‘Biaon, Tub Ave eave witboat —— Destine open toqeame HL Six o’Clock Senses By Buytue Surrwoop HE minute I set eyes on her I laughed. Not loudly, of course, but sort of under my breath. For I knew That it would not be long Before T had her crushed to me. What had made me latgh Was the manner in which She vainly held herself aloof. Her beautiful eyes Glistened defiantly Yet the time came, at last, When I felt the silky lashes Brush my cheeks. Her lips looked the deliciousness Of their taste; but they were denied me As her irresistible curls and fluffy hat _ Were lost in the depths of my shoulder. But How she was squeezed! “T never see a musical comedy. I con- sider them immoral.” The next time some of us were dining down town. Our heroine ordered a drink which even made the hardened men of the party sit up with astonish- ment. “T don’t drink often,” she explained. “but when I do I want to really drink. And as she sipped her deadly decoction she told us of some “dreadful people” who lived in the studio next door who indulged in folk-dancing on Sunday. But it was only the other day that I heard the climax to her inconsistencies. She was walking across Brooklyn Bridge with a few girls, two of whom were eating the contents of a tiny bag of salted peanuts. A_ flippant policeman as they passed remarked: “Well, girls, goin’ to the circus?” “I never heard anything to equal the audacity of the policemen in New York,” the inconsistent one announced. ‘‘They interfere so with one’s personal liberty! Why, the other day I was smoking in Central Park and one of them asked me to stop!” A Masterpiece By S. E. Kiser FILM FUN, and America’s Only Illustrated News: paper, LESLIE'S WEEKLY. Young men and young women (17 to 21) preferred. No experience necessary. We teach and help you to’ sccure subscriptions for three and six months and a year, No Single Copy Sale. Use your spare time evenings. holidays, etc., and earn from $5 to $25 a week, or put in all of your time and earn double this amount. Answer quickly so you can start now. Give population and description of town, township or territory you think you can cover. SUB-AGENCY DEPARTMENT LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York City Those Boche Shells From a letter from our former Associate Editor, F. Gregory Hartswick, now serving under General Pershing in France: “The censor won’t let me tell much that happened on the front, but I know what shells sound like, both ways. They sound much nicer going than coming. When a shell strikes near one, one goes away from there immediately. Shells have their uses, I suppose, but they are too abrupt about things. A full-grown shell will make a house look like a brickyard-dump in one and one-fifth seconds. Fortunately, many of the shells the Germans send in are ‘duds.’ German shells are not nearly so enthusiastic as French shells.” That ‘‘Squirtive’’ Fruit He-mal She-ma He-mal all—Pur “And was leav would de that Iw It seemed aa.though HE best thing that I ever wrote you take a cold shower every morning?” “Why I had’ Beart on esch side Has never graced a printed page; Yes, I ca? grapefruit regularly for breakfast.” Because the pitapat of hers “Twas not concerning woman’s vote, She w Throbbed my whole being. Nor meant for use upon the st a slende Theard a soft sigh . . 1 wrote it on a lucky day, |] winked Perhaps it had been a gigzie; And then, with resolution fired, . bos te For my dream-castles tumbled over . . Addressed it, after some delay, A Valuable Tip oe whos ve sired. lo me an When she got out at her subway station Fo one whose favor I desired UDGE was one of the three meet my The best thing that I ever wrote most popular publications in the Will never cause a lump to rise camps in a list including all the COPY | PRESS CLIPPING BUREAU ROMEIKE’ We will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be * date.” Every newspaper and periodical of im- portance in the United States and Europe is searched. Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., New York In any lonely mother’s throat Or help to brighten sparkling eyes; No critic ever will exhume Or wish to add it to my credit; No other than the one to whom It was addressed has ever read it. The best thing that I ever wrote Was not an ode surcharged with wit; I added not a single note Of humor to enliven it: leading magazines “The happy medium,” Judge, furnishes welcome relaxation for war-strung nerves. Stick a 1c stamp on the cover of this issue, according to postmaster Burleson’s advice, and drop in the mail; the Government will send it to soldiers or sailors at the front. Do this every. week, and you'll make life that much cheerier for the men in camp and “over there.” Or send us a dollar and a soldier’s or sailor’s name and address —cither at camp or at the front — and we'll send him the next LOT E at 63rd Str NEW = MOSz, conveniently situated hotel at ‘popular rates in the art of everything. Rates single rooms, $1. Room with ivate bath, $1.50. Parlor Bedroom somand bath (or 282.00 jor booklet “What's Going On.” P. V. LAN The boss received it when ‘twas done; A masterpiece he must have thought it: In twenty words—no, twenty-one— I asked him for a raise, and got it. 13 issues. Address Judge, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City Manager. comicbooks.com