Judge — June 1, 1918 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| YOUNG THINGS | “*We'’—“But your fiance has such a small income. How are you going to live on it?” “Oh, we're going to economize. We're going to do without such a lot of things Jack really needs.”—Cassell’s Saturday Journal. Up Against It—Young husband— Didn’t I telegraph you not to bring your mother with you? Young wife—I know. That’s what she want’s to see you about. She read the telegram.— Paris Le Matin. Marching Orders—Patience—What's become of that young man who used to call on you? Patrice—You mean the one papa didn’t like? . Patience—That’s the one. Patrice—Oh, he’s gone to be a sol- dier. Patience—What’s he know about being a soldier, I’d like to know? Patrice—Oh, papa showed him how to march.—Yonkers Statesman. Full of Resource—Representative McLemore said the other day at a dinner in Washington: “Our American resourcefulness and knack of getting things done is going to shine out in this war. Look how our commanding officers deal with the French hotels that overcharge our soldiers! After the Air Raid on Paris signaled for the last ten minutes. The Explanation Instructor—Look here, what’s the matter with you men? There hasn't been a bulls-eye Bright recruit—I think someone must have shot the target marker, sir!—Passing Shotw (London). They post sentries at the door to explain to our men that the place is ‘out of bounds.’ That soon brings the hotel to Teascn. “We're a resourceful nation. An , American girl in Paris once halted her millionaire father before a jeweler’s shop in the Rue de la Paix, and pointed to a tiara surmounted by a coronet. “*Pa, buy me that?’ she said. “*Buy you that?’ her father chuckled. ‘Why, girlie, you’ve got to be a duchess to wear that.’ The girl tossed her head. You buy it,’ she said. ‘I'll find the duke.’ —Detroit Free Press. “Mamma, are the Boches afraid of us children?” —La Victoire (Paris). “Dis, maman, les Boches ont done peur de nous?” EFFICIENCY Too Much for Him—The president of one of the big eastern railroads last year started an efficiency campaign on his system. He figured out a plan of bonuses and promotions for the men who had shown capability and promptness and energy in the discharge of their duties. To him was brought the name of one employe who, in twenty-two years of service, had never been late, had never missed a day from his duties and had never been reprimanded for inattention. Highly pleased, the president sent for the model to come to headquarters to be questioned, complimented and _ finally rewarded. Next day the paragon was shown into the chief’s office. He proved to be a shaggy-headed, middle-aged individual in rough clothing. “T’ve heard splendid things about your record,” said the great man. “Now tell me, just what are your duties?” “Well, sir,” stated the visitor, “it’s my job to stay on the platform out here at Holidayville and every time a train pulls into the station I walk down along her and rap on all the wheels with a hammer. I’ve been doing that stiddy ever sence I went to work fur the road.” “In the name of heaven, what do you do that for?” demanded the astonished president. ficient one scratched his head. darned ef I know! Post. comicbooks.com