Judge — May 4, 1918 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“The Curse of Drink" This picture proved one of Judge's most popular subjects and has been reprint fall colors, mounted on a heavy mat, II x 14, ready for the frame. It will be mailed post free for twenty-five cents, stamps. Judge Art Print Department 225 Fifth Avenue New York City Camouflaged Joe—Who was the new dame you had at the theater last night? Jim—Oh, that wasn't a new one. old one painted over.—Froth. Just the She Was an Artist's Model He—How is it that you never suffer from the cold? e—Oh, I'm always wrapped up in my work. —Widow. Never! First Co-ed—Women always contradict one another. Second Co-ed—They do not!—Punch Bowl. They Sleep Assistant—Professor Chlorine tells me he electrified the class with his lass lecture. Consistent—Naw, he gassed it.—Chaparral. FREE Trial PIEDMONT RED CEDAR CHESTS Veet halen of D)stslas of the famews erosomiral. Pass fs a 7 Or wedding gift. Write teday for big Catalog. tt ry Piedmont Red Cedar Chest Co., Dept. 38, Statesville, NEW HOTEL BINGHAM, Philadelphia In the center of everything. Large, well lighted and comfort- able rooms. Hot and cold running water in every room. Only hotel havi y connection with all railroad stations and fern Club breakfast. Special luncheons. mat bath. $1.50; with bath, $2.00 per day and up. FRANK KIMBLE, Manager HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 32, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouses: ' 30 Beekman Street, New York, and 32 Clinton Street, Newark, N.J. ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER With the Gliese Wits Trrepressible, Joyous, The Long and the Short of It “Please don’t yawn, dearest Clementine. I may be an awful bore but you really ought to forgive my shortcomings.” “It isn’t your shortcoming I object to, it’s your long goings.” —Widow. Immune “So your mother has the mumps? You bet- ter look out—mumps are contagious.” “Oh, she’s my stepmother. She wouldn't give me anything.”—Syracuse Orange Peel. Protected Soph—I was over to see her last night when some one threw a brick through the window and hit the poor girl in the side! Frosh—Did it hurt her? Soph—No; but it broke three of my fingers. —Burr. A Suggestion The Woman—t believe I've danced with you before, haven't I? The Victim—I dunno, if you have why don’t you do it now?—Chaparral. No Danger Sick-in-Bed—It pains me to laugh and even to smile. Humorist—So sorry. some of my new jokes. Sick-in-Bed—Just go right: ahead.—Punch Bowl. I wanted to read you Got Him Wrong She—What do you suppose I did when mother told me you were coming? He—Oh; I suppose you colored up a little, She—Sit!—Awgwan. Aviation Tera “Maneuvering in Spirals.” (Tiger) | trespousible wot und a Light.” (Froth) So Beautiful So beautiful she seemed to me, [ wished that we might wed; Her neck, ‘twas just like ivory, But alas, so was her head. —Arwgwan, News From the Front Madam, I am sorry to tell you that your |, brother has just had his arm shot off in battle. Loving Sister—Now isn’t that a shame—and Thad just bought the dear boy a pair of gloves j fora birthday present. Ker. A Monologue “What's a monologue? “A monologue is a conversation between hus band and wife.” “T thought that was a dialogue.” “No; a dialogue is where two persons art speaking.” —Punch Bowl. Didn't Look Lord Reginald—What did Susanne wear at the Van Style’s dinner party? Lady Killer—Dear me, I don’t know. 1 didn’t look under the table.—Purple Cow. Good Dean—What is density? Hansen—I can’t define it but I can give a illustration. Dean—The illustration is good, sit down. Awgwan.