Judge — April 20, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pan-Germany and the very best way to doit (London). JUST KIDS i ! Said the Bad Boy—‘And_ this, said the teacher is the rhinoceros. Look carefully at his armored hide.” “T see,” said the bad boy of the class. “An? wot’s this one?” That,” answered the teacher, “is a giraffe. “Gee! He’s got a periscope.”’—Boston aldvertiser. Description—“Oh, I just love c, and it’s awfully nice!” cried little Doro- thy, regarding her dessert. “You should not say you ‘love cake’,” reproved her mother; you ‘like it and don’t say ‘awfully’; say ‘very’. Don’t say ‘nice’, but ‘good’, Now, my dear, rep it.” “Tike cake; it is very good,” repeated Dorot “but it sounds s if I were talking about bread. tian Register. To Be Sure—Teacher—Johnny, what are the most essential stable foods of today? Johnny—Hay, corn and oats. That's what pa feeds our horse.—Ginger. She Would Be Pleased—“‘What would your mother say, little boy,” de- manded the passer-by v rtuously, * “if she could hear you swear like that? “She'd be tickled to death if she could hear it,” answered the bad little boy. “She's stone deaf.”—Fun. Bystander Dad Needed Him—‘Tommy. you were absent from school yesterday,” said the teacher. “Yes'nt,” answered the boy. “ Father wanted me to go fishin’ with him.” “But don’t you know it would have been more profitable to have come to school?” “Why, we wouldn't have brought home a durn fish if I hadn’t been along.” —Vonkers Statesman. The Little Man—Conjurer— + to help me with this next trick, I want the services of a boy—just any boy in the audience—yes, you will do, my little man; come along. Now, you've never seen me before, have you Boy (innocently) —No, father! Bits. Planning Revenge ister’s fel- ler kicked my dog “but Dll get ‘ith him all right.” “How’'ll you get even?” said Willie’s friend. I'm goin’ to mix quinir lic, “with my sister's lip rouge. ington Star. ” said Wil- —Wash- Wise Mabel—Louise, nine years old, asked her mother: w here is papa going?’ ag party,” she felled ty, mamma?" of superior wisdom answered instantly: “It’s where they stagger. Didn't you kno —Pittsburg Sun. Too Tender a Subject—Tcacher— Do you know, Johnnie, where shingles were first used? Johnnie (modestly)—I'd rather not tell. —M ilestones. Ownership—A_ shopkeeper recently lent his grandson enough money to pur- chase a motor-cycle. The money was to be paid back in installments, the machine to remain the property of the grandfather until the last payment had been made. One day while out riding the boy met his father and jumped off his motor- grandfather,” said the boy, “who does this machine belong to?” “It belongs to me until you have the last payment. That was the agr ment, you know. But why do you ask?” “Well, I just wanted to make sure,” remarked the boy, with a grin. ‘Your motor-cycle needs a new tire.” —Tit-Bits. Passing It On—Bessie had a new dime to invest in ice-cream soda. “Why don’t you give your dime to mis- sions?” said the minister, .who was calling. “T thought about that,” said Bess “but I think Ill buy the ice-cream and let the druggist give it to the missions.” — Christian Herald. Overworked Didn't oe Like It — o 8 : “Mamma, 1 7 @ 47 want a dark doyou mean,child?” “Why. last. night ou told ry to give me a light’ supper and I didn’t like it.” — dney Bul- letin, “On pourrait faire tomber ta table, dis? | Maman croira peut-éire que Cest un zeppelin.” “Penses-tu! Les ceppelins, ca ne prend plus.” Say, let’s push the table over. Mamma 'd juess not! She's on to that “Zeppelin’ stunt now.” ppelins did it.” anette (Paris). think it was th —La Bai