Judge — April 13, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— ee To Avoid Slighting Anyone Vous ne pouces me vendre ne bottine—pourguoi pas la paire?” yh! mous en avons encore si peu de ces chaussures nationales—faut bien tacker de contenter tout le monde.” “What! You won't sell me but one boot of the pair?” “Yes. You see, if we let each customer have two boots, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." —Le Péle-Méle (Paris). | JOURNALISM | A Personal Reflection — “You've made a mistake in your paper,” said an indignant man, entering the editorial A Hostile Suggestion “Tracailler? Nous sommes trahis; la ré- action triomphe!” Bolskeviki hero (noticing appeal which ‘Our soldiers at the front are without Let cach citizen do his duty and —Work? Weare betrayed? The cap- italists have triumphed!—Le Rire (Paris). known light-weight champion.’” “Well, aren’t you?” inquired the edi- tor. “No, I’m nothing of the kind, and it’s confoundly awkward, because I’m an ice- dealer.” —Tit-Bits. Too Prosperous—“I sce where a country editor died the other day.” “What’s remarkable about that? Country editors don’t live forever.” “Quite true, but the press dispatch states that this man was a conspicuous figure on the public square of his town because he always wore a silk hat and a frock coat.” “You can’t tell me he was a country editor and nothing more. That fellow must have owned stock in the village bank.”—Birmingham A ge-Herald. The Latest Kink in Germany Ecco come sono costretti a fare i cani in Germania, non potendo stringersi la cintura dai pantaloni come fanno i loro padroni. In Germany the dogs, not being able to draw in their belts as their masters do, have resorted to this ingenious method of taking up the slack.—Il gro (Florence). Unefficacious—We begin the publica- tion ov the Rocy Mountain Cyclone with some phew diphiculties in the way. The type phounder phrom whom we bought our outphit phor this printing-ophice phailed to supply us with any ephs or cays, and it will be phour or phive weex bephore we can get any. We have or- dered the missing letters, and will have to get along without them till they come. We don’t lique the loox ov this variety ov spelling any better than our readers; but mistaix will happen in the best ov regulated phamilies, and, iph the eph’s and c’s and x’s and q’s hold out, we shall ceep (sound the c hard) the Cyclone whirling aphter a phashion till the sorts arrive. It is no joque to us; it’s a serious aphair.—Denver Rocky Mountain Cy- clone. Shakespearian Studies in Kansas— Was it Hamlet or Macbeth who said: “This is the most unkindest cut of all,” when they printed his picture in the Denmark Times?—Hutchinson News. sanctum of a daily paper. “I was one of the competitors at that athletic match yesterday, and you have called me ‘the The Elephant on His Hands =: The food hoarder’s nightmare.—Evening News (London). | TRAVEL Who Was It?—‘Behind the altar,” said the cathedral guide to a party of tourists, “lies Richard II. In the church- yard outside lies Mary Queen of Scots. And who”—halting above an unmarked flagging in the stone floor and addressing a tourist from London—‘who do you think, sir, is a-lying ’ere on this spot?” “Well,” answered the Cockney, “I don’t know for sure, but I have my suspicions.” —London Opinion. Militarism and Diplomacy “Komm, lieber frend; schon vcertragen, wenn du immer tust, was ich soil!” Diplomat to soldier-—Come, dear friend; i you will al- ebelspalter we shall get along splendid} ways do what I tell yo (Zurich). comichooks.com)