Judge — April 6, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hadn't Suspected It—The sub—l y, Sergeant Major, do you realize that that chap with the barrow is a member of an archacological society? The Sergeant Major—Well, sir, ’e may be w you say. Personally I’ve always found ’im quiet and well be’aved. —Punch, Doing His Bit— We're saving fuel,” remarked the lady. “I just left my hus- band stamping on the floor to keep his feet warm.” “Thrift stamps, ch?” said her waggish friend.—Boston Transcript. Not So Paradoxical—‘Now that John Bull has taken a stand against the Turk, what do you suppose he will do next?” “T suppose he will proc Ottoman."”—St. Louis Glo! ed to sit on the -Democrat. Digging Trenches—A certain Lan- cashire battalion on the Cambrai front was trudging back from the trenches, after being relieved, in the small hours of the morning. Suddenly it was con- fronted by an officer, who ordered it to halt and dig a support trench where it was. The battalion obeyed, of course, without a murmur, but, after moment, there came a voice from the darkness: “In six day: U Lord made ’eaven an’ earth, and then, ont sevent, Lancashire’s coom an’ dug it all oop again.”—rgo- naut. Spades Are Trumps He Had Flat Feet—‘Somewhere in Kentucky” a drafted man appeared for physical examination “Rejected,” was the medical verdict. “You have flat feet and cannot march.” “Ain’t that tough!” moaned the would-be soldier. “I’ve tramped 48 miles over the mountains since last night and now I've got to walk back."’—Chicago Herald. The Hero—"“Was Jack cool during the air raid the other night?” “Rather! Why, he was so cool his teeth were chattering all the whil Passing Show. Getting Back at Him he man who told you k was mad! Whe i Recruit—When I last Doctor—Who was it Recruit—Y His Conjecture—“What did your landlady mean by telling me she had a bone to pick with me?” “Don’t know, unless it was an invita- tion up to dinner.”—Browning’s. Considerate—The poor fellow at the end of the table looked so unhappy that even the landlady’s stony heart was moved. “How do you like the chic Mr. Jones?” she a: something. “Oh—er—is this chicken soup?” he blurted out. Certainly. How do you like it?” “Well—er—it’s certainly very tender,” said he, apologetically.—Harper’s. n soup, ked, by way of saying Like Loves Like—“I deduce that men are what they eat.” “Where have you been pursuing your studies, professor?” “Around the Broadway lobster pal- —Louisville Courier-Journal. ace The Scot's Experiment—At a ban- quet at the Engineers’ club in New York, several of the guests wore the McLean Kilties of Canada. A feature of the menu was squa toast, and one of the Scotch veterans, after asking what it was, proceeded to cover it well with tobasco sauce. He ate a couple of bites of the burning liquid, and then, with a low cry, put down his knife and fork. “Lay thaur an’ bu-r-r-n,” he said Then turning to the waiter calle Aye, mon, I’ve had enough o’ this. Gie’s a shellin’ worth o? ham, wie ye? An’ say, laddie, bring a bucket of ice wate Enginecring. >on Idea Corrected—An ex- ive A False change in speaking of the prospe rise in the price of maple syrup and sugar without doubt it is due to the high cost of feeding the maple trees. ‘The poor fish that wrote that undoubtedly thinks that maple sugar grows on trees like hickory nuts.—AMuarathon Independent. Genius—It’s wonderful how a land lady can serve so many things you don't care for.—Kansas City Journal. War Bread—‘Mrs. Newbride has made some real war bread.” “Oh?” “The trouble is that she can’t find a German to feed it to.” Buffalo Express.