Judge, 1918-03-30 · page 30 of 36
Judge — March 30, 1918 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct elements: a **health resort advertisement** (left) and a **satirical detective story** (right). The left side advertises French Lick Springs, an Indiana spa promising health restoration through mineral waters and outdoor activities—typical early 20th-century wellness marketing. The right side parodies detective fiction through "Fruitt Syrup, the Great Detective." A widow complains of "Unnecessary Noises in New York" and seeks his help. Syrup's absurd solution is the "Curved Thought Method"—a pseudo-scientific technique involving mental exercises to redirect one's mind away from the problem by thinking in "curves." The satire mocks both detective fiction's contrived plotting and the era's pseudo-scientific self-help solutions. The joke is that Syrup's elaborate "method" is essentially useless nonsense dressed in intellectual language—the detective solves nothing but impresses through sheer confidence and jargon. This reflects Judge magazine's tradition of lampooning contemporary fads and literary clichés.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FRENCH SPRINGS There’s April mildness in the air and a won- drous budding of trees and flowers. If you are tired from the long hard winter— if you have overdrawn your health account —come now, while Spring is in the air, to this famous Indiana health resort. Every Outdoor Sport Is Yours You will feel again the golfer’s thrill as your ball flies sweetly from the tee. You will yield to the lure of bridle paths on well-trained saddle horses. In addition, the baths and waters will make you over. will feel a renewed vigor and vim. you will take with you real benefits in the form of health and strength which you have obtained during your sojourn at these famous Springs. And when you leave, Splendid hotel accommodations are to be had at the lowest con- sistent rates, and excellent service is a feature of every department. Send for illustrated booklet giving data conceming baths and waters. Or write for information direct. French Lick Springs French Lick French Lick Springs is the home of At the famous Pluto Spring it comes bubbling fresh from Curved Thought By Frep Lapp F vere SYRUP, the Great Detective, knitted his brows, Before him lay a letter in a lady’s handwriting. We are permitted to read: Hon. Fruitt Syrup, Dear Sir: 1 am annoyed almost incessantly by Unnecessary Noises in New York. Ip desperation I am begging you to take this case, and to advise me what todo. May [call upon you at four tomorrow afternoon for your final decision in this (to me) very important matter? Very sincerely, (Mrs.) Maude Devoe, Fruitt Syrup smiled a grim little smile, and carefully pigeon. holed the dainty missive. Leaning back in his easy chair, he relaxed his athletic frame, and lighted a cigar. Now, his brain began to work. Promptly at four the next afternoon Mre. Maude Devoe, clad in deep mourning, beautiful, with a wan but interesting smile, } faced Fruitt Syrup, the Great Detective, in his office. “Ah, Ha,” he said, by way of greeting. “You are a handsome widow, have lost your Husband, and have his money, part of which is in the bank.” “Wonderful!” she ejaculated, with a glad little cry of conf- dence which was pretty to see; “Wonderful! How did you know all this without asking me?” “Tam Fruitt Syrup,” he modestly answered. “Madam, be seated.” She obeyed, her eyes shining like stars. “Madam, I have thought deeply upon your most extraor- dinary case; we shall go to the heart of it at once. Tell me, do you reside in New York . . . You know you wrote me that the Unnecessary Noises which so markedly affect your life at pres- i ent ” ' “Quite so, indeed!” said she; ‘Yes, I do reside in New York.” A grim little smile, followed by a look of the utmost determina- tion, flashed across the intellectual features of Fruitt Syrup. “Mrs. Devoe” he said, with an air of finality, “it will be proper in your case to apply the Curved Thought method.” “Oh, I am so glad!” she cried; “I have heard of your wonder- | ful success with this method . . . pray explain it to me.” “Tt is intricate, deep, baffling—yet, absolutely certain,” he gravely said; ‘the Curved Thought mode of handling your case is as follows: Being annoyed by Unnecessary Noises in New York, we force the mind to describe a Curve: We think, as the Mind Curves. In its Curve, the Mind, thus governed by Thought, thinks of other places than New York, somewhere within a radius } of New York. Before the Mind becomes ultra fatigued by the | Curve, and the Pressure of Thought, you understand—we allow the mind to center itself upon some place outside of New York, but within the Curve. At once, you must move to this place. So, you will escape the Unnecessary Noises in New York. Myste- riously, I cannot quite explain to you why, yet indubitably, you will suddenly find, when you have moved out of New York, that the Unnecessary Noises in New York entirely cease to affect you in any way, save perhaps as a bitter memory, which will soon lessen and fade. The Curved Thought Method, by leading the Curved Thinker to the exact spot on the Curve designated by the Thought, has triumphed completely.” Mrs. Maude Devoe gazed admiringly into the face of Fruitt Syrup, and gave a shrill cry of delight. “Oh, Sir, how can I ever thank you sufficiently for the interest you have taken in my case, and the wonderful solution id “The Curved Thought Method, of course, is a very Expensive Method, and sg “And is so much more wonderful than mere Straight think- ing. What shall I pay you for your professional services?” “About ninety thousand dollars,” said Fruitt Syrup, with no trace of hesitancy. In less than eight minutes, he had the check. MORAL: Never Think. Let Fruitt Syrup do it. | ae ener ecu || | FOS S comicbooks.com