Judge — March 30, 1918 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 a kid ickery, 1¢ Out Popu- rederic j ire on | | larris, rms a ‘© the ) finds west. Pull. natri- n and ry on ower- ‘tions ty to ‘o the | upper > the prob- o be | and alize e all him ny- you 5 as rld. With the College Wits They Say They say that the Scotchmen at Ypres Just laugh at the poor German snypers; aving musical souls They run for their holes When the Scotch loudly shout for their Pypers. —Lampoon. “What are you crying for, little girl?” “*Cause daddy joined the army. “You shouldn’t cry for that. Won’t you like your daddy when he's dressed like me?” “But—but daddy joined the Salvation Army!”—Gargoyle. His Query “Jane, is my wife going out?” “Yes, sir.” “Do you know if I am going with her?” —Lampoon. She Thought She (coyly)—I think I have already had two cups of that delicious punch. He—Think! You know darn well you have. —Lampoon. Diabolical Dialogues—Gush on Mush— He—I've never kissed a girl. She—Never? He—In my life. She—Don't He—Think it’s not time to begin. She—No— He—Do it? She—Stop— He—Tempting me. She—But—— He—You're really very pretty. She—Now: He—It’s a shame not to. She—Really— He—I think it’s my duty. She—Oh— He—What an opportunity. She—There— He—Is a first time for everything. She—But He—What's to hinder? She—My husband!—Lampoon. Curiosity Prof. (in lecture)—Even though these nine- teenth century novelists are very crude and frankly speak of subjects tabooed today—— Co-ed (in back of room)—You know, Edith, I really must read these famous authors. They are so important, don’t you think so?—Punch Bowl. You Bet One lone girl in a Ford is worth three in a Packard.—Gargoyle. Nope Flo—Do you think a girl should learn to love before twenty? Fli—Nope. Lantern. Too large an audience.—Jack o° A Sign “Did you know that Maybelle was starting to smoke?” “Well, she got rather hot during our last argument.”’—Jack o’ Lantern. Why? Willy—I understand you haven’t spoken to your better half for six months? Nicky—Right, I haven’t wanted to interrupt her.—Tiger. so A Safety Raiser —Burr. Had Found Her “Does your memory go back to the fellow who knew nothing to start a conversation with but ‘Well, what can I do you for?’” “Seem tranquil. I found him when he wasn’t looking.” —Sun Dial. A Puzzle An old colored mammy was up before the judge for maltreating her offspring, an eight- year-old boy. She thus addressed the court after receiving a reprimand: “Just one thing I wants to ask your honor; was you ever the father of a worthless colored chile?” —Awgwan. In the Art Museum Art Gazer—I can’t hand that Venus de Milo statue a thing. Attendant—And if she were alive she couldn’t hand you a thing.—Sun Dial. Five Rich Cuban Guar French's Superb Cuban Special. Filler of Havana leave at at to.use in the manulactare of our Joan del Rey brand of clear Jou for Saly 25, silver or ampas Limited latrodsctory oe, Send today. FRENCH TOBACCO CO., Dept. C, Statesville, N.C. WHITE ‘ . Vattey GEMS Look and Wear Like Diamonds YJ _Brilliancy guaranteed 25 years. Will BP cut glass. Stand acid and fire tests FS end scratch'a fic. Any style 14-K solid gold 7_fing, pin (regular diamond mount- ing) sent for Free Examination. No Money in Advance. Write tots for ree cata! HITE VALLEY CEM ¢ co Mie: iewelere 828 Walsin Building ‘indianapolis, Indiana Pests at Rest “Do you remember the drug-store clerk who got you what you wanted and then asked: ‘And now what else,’ with the saccharine stress on the ‘now,’ when he knew there wasn’t any- thing else?” “Enjoy yourself. I shot him.”—Sun Dial. In the Stone Age Yes, Drew, in the stone age if the babies started to cry the mothers rocked them to sleep. And if they were busy cooking dinosaur soup, they yelled at old Stonehatchet: “Pa, will you please rap Nellie on the beezer with a brick?” —Sun Dial. “T Got the Job!” “I'm to be Manager of my Department starting Monday. The boss: said be had been watching all the men. When be found I had been. studying at home with the International Correspondence Schools he knew J had the right stuff in me—that I was bound to make goox'. ‘Spare-time study with the I. C. 8. 1s winning promotions for thou- sands of men and bringing happiness to thousands of homes all o trices. shops. siores, mines, mills and on ralroads, ed sen are stepping up to ‘bg Jobs, over the heads o cider men, past those whose only qualification is long service. The first step these men took was to mark and mail this coupon, Make your start the same way—and make it right now, ean OUT ER INTERNATIONAL CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOLS 3576 Scranton, Pa. Ry. Mall Service avromoniLes: RE Architectural Draftiog Name. Address