Judge — March 30, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WR Beautifully Safeguarded “Papa, perché hanno messo la sentinella a quella porta?” “Per impedire Centrata alla veritd ¢ al buon sen. “Father, what's that sentinel for?” “Why, that’s the entrance to the Censor’s office, and he’s put there to keep out Truth and Common Sense."—Il 420 (Florence) | JUST KIDS Her Solution—* Mamma,” said Mil- dred, “do you think you can finish my gloves to night, so I can wear them to school to-morrow?" “T am afraid not,” said the mother. “T'll have to get some more yarn, I think.” “Oh, hurry up and knit fast, and maybe you can finish before the yarn gives out.” —Vouth’s Companion. Why— How did Noah occupy him- self in the Ark?” asked the Sunday- school teacher. “He occupied himself fishin’,” said the little boy. “A very reasonable answer, teacher. “But he didn’t catch nothin’,” said the little boy, scornfully. “No?” said the teacher. “Why not?” “Hadn't enough bait,” said the little boy. “Only two worms.”—Clippings. said the Smart Lad—A couple of tourists driv- ing in the picturesque hills of Santa Bar- bara decided to take a short cut to the ocean front, but were not quite sure of the road. The only human visible being a ragged lad sunning himself in the dust at the side of the road, the driver addressed him. “Say, boy, how do you reach the a ocean from here?” Whereupon the boy without batting an eyelash, gravely responded: ‘Well, which ocean do you want to go to?"’"—Los Angeles Times. Pulpit Camouflage—" Mabel,” que- ried the caller of the minister’s little daughter, “does your father ever preach the same sermon twice?” “Yes, I think he does,” replied Mabel, “but he talks loud and soft in different places each time, so it doesn’t sound the same to outsiders.” —Jndiana polis Star. Bright Boston Pupil—* What is the meaning of ‘alter ego d the teacher of the beginners’ s in Latin. “Tt means the ‘other responded a me a sentence containing the “He winked his alter ego.”"—Boston Transcript. sdf Dy A Bit Unevenly Matched IU duello di Bolshevikr. The Bolsheviki duel—L’.Jsino (Rome). Hard for the Stork—One Sunday afternoon when Jones, who had been vis- iting the Zoo, came home, he announced to the family: “They’ve got a new baby hippopota- mus.”” Whereupon his daughter, about fifteen, burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. When she had subsided somewhat the father growled: “What are you laughing at?” “T was just thinking.” giggled the “that that rather kills the stork story.”— Harper's Magazine. Well Posted—“ That's the flag of my country,” declared little Daisy, pointing to the flag-button on the visitor’s lapel. “And what’s the name of your coun- sked the visitor, unexpectedly. s of thee,” answered Daisy, promptly.—Century Magazine. Analysis—Mother was out, and Sister Sue was putting on her best blouse, so six-year-old Bobby had to entertain Sue’s young man. As is the way with his kind, he began to ply the unfortunate caller with questions. “Mr. Brown,” he began, “what is a —a—popinjay is a—ch— vain bird. “Are you a bird, Mr. Brown?” “No, of course not.” “Well, that’s funny. Mother said you were a popinjay, and father said there was no doubt about you're being a jay, and Sue said there didn’t seem much chance of your poppin’, and now you say you aren't a bird at all!”—London Mail. Her New Ring—Little Lydia been given a ring as a birthday present, but, much to her disappointment, no one of the guests at dinner noticed it. Fi: nally, unable to withstand their obtuse- or indifference, she exclaimed: dh, dear, I'm so warm in my new ring!" —Argonaut. Preparedness — “Bobby,” inquired the mother, “did you wash your face be- fore the music teacher came?” “And your hands?” “Yes'm.” “And your ears? “Well, ma,” said Bobby. judicially. “Ly shed the one that would be next —Chicago Herald. Rules and Regulations “ Bien, mon view, heureusement qu'il y aun écriteau!” “Well! Somebody must have forgotten to look at that NO SMOKING. sign!"—Le Péle-Méle (Paris). ae