Judge, 1918-03-30 · page 13 of 36
Judge — March 30, 1918 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The illustration depicts a woman examining German military helmets, captioned "If She Gets All the German Helmets Which Have Been Promised Her"—a wartime joke referencing the popular expectation that Allied victory would yield German war trophies as souvenirs. The accompanying text by Douglas Malloch is a collection of aphoristic observations ("notion counter" likely meaning a repository of witty thoughts). These are largely generic observations about human nature, business, love, and society—typical of Judge magazine's satirical commentary. References to soldiers, drummers, and the "soldier's life" subtly acknowledge the WWI context without directly politicizing it. The humor relies on mild cynicism about modern life: vanity, talkativeness, automobile culture, and romantic disappointment. The page represents Judge's characteristic blend of visual satire and philosophical humor aimed at educated American readers during the wartime period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by P. D. Jouxson Ir Sue Gets Att tue German Hetmets Wuicu Have Been Promisep HER The Notion Counter By Doucias Mattocu just as entertaining to listen to as a bass drum. The pes seldom popular. When you are flat on your back is a good time to look up. There are some sharp fellows who think they are getting away with it who are just about as clever asa rabbit that runs around after a new snow. There are a lot of people in this world who make me weary, but nobody I get quite as tired of as myself. People live faster in these days, and, thanks to the automobile, they also die faster. Many an orange blossom turns out to be a lemon. There never was a train so late that some fellow didn’t miss it. Columbus discovered America by accident, but he didn’t set sail westward by accident. About the best trait in business is to concentrate. Not all of us can think, but most of us can talk. Giving seldom makes a man poor, or grudging rich. It isn’t money that talks, but people who have it. "Tice are a lot of loud-talking fellows who are imist is generally right, and very A man is bound to waste just about so much money, so he’d better do it in the way that hurts his health least. The only real autocracy in this country that refuses to make any more boiled shirts. We appreciate our blessings after they are gone Did you ever observe how carefuily a near bald man parts his hair? There are a lot of fellows who want to get rich who are shoving on the lines. My head is getting a little thinner on top but it seems to be still just as thick inside. These broad-brimmed hats that come down over the eyes are a great help to a bride on her honeymoon. The man who has been crossed in love isn’t nearly as badly off as the man who has been double-crossed. The soldier’s life is a humdrum existence—the drummer’s drum and the bullets hum. About the most expensive overhead in the world is the lawyer who talks over the heads of the jury. Many a man has failed in politics because he made himself unpopular with one side without making himself popular with the other. the one