Judge — March 16, 1918 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Let me coo! back any minut Le Péle-Méle (Paris). Unwashed—A colored Baptist was exhorting. “Now, breddern and sistern, come up to de altar and have yo’ sins washed away.” All came up but one man. “Why, Bredder Jones, don’t yo’ want yo’ sins washed away?” “T done had my sins washed away.” “Yo’ has? Where yo’ had yo’ sins washed away?” “Ober at de Methodist church.” “Ah, Brudder Jones, yo’ ain’t been washed; yo’ jes’ been dry cleaned.”— Argonaut. Not Guilty—An old negro went to the office of the Commissioner of Registration in a Missouri town and applied for regis- tration papers. “What is your name?” asked the official. “George Washington,” was the reply. “Well, George, are you the man who cut down the cherry tree?” “No, suh, I ain’t de man. I ain’t done no work for nigh onto a year.”—Every- body's Magazine. Mammy’s Decision—A colored wo- man was busily engaged in emptying her stocking on the desk of the Liberty Loan clerk. As the silver quarters, dol- lars, nickels, dimes, etc., rolled out onthe desk the clerk said, “This must be the re- sult of a number of hard years’ savings.” The old woman replied, “Yassah, Ah A Little Culinary Secret “ Je peux cous préparer un civet de lapin, justement mon mari est dla chasse.” ua nice rabbit stew. My husband’s out hunting now, and I expect him been a saving it to bury maself, but Ah got to thinkin’ it ovah an’ Ah jus’ made up mah mind it would be a heap bettah to buy a Liberty bond to help bury dat Kaisah.”—Boys’ Life. Taken at His Word—“So you've given up drinking, have you, ’Rastus?” asked the grocer. “Yes, sah,” said the old fellow, “I ain’t teched a drap in fo’ weeks.” “Well, you deserve credit for that.” “Yes, sah; dat’s jes’ what I thinks, Mistah Brown. I was jus’ gwine ter ax yo’ if yo’ cud trus’ me fo’ some gro- ceries.”"—Boston Transcript. WOMAN Hardly That—The conversation had turned upon tact. “My husband is not very tactful in his choice of adjectives,” said Mrs. Adam. “Why so?” “T asked him what he thought of my slippers.” “And what did he say?” “He said they were immense!””—De- troit Free Press. Waiting—Mr. Styles—Did you get caught in the shower while you were shop- ping today? Mrs. Styles—Oh, no. I was in a de- partment store while it rained. Mr. Styles—But it rained for two hours. Mrs. Styles—Yes, I know. I was wait- ing for my change then.—Boston Tran- script. A Useful Husband—‘“Why in the world does his wife call him Picket Fence? “Well, she says he’s easy to see through. “And, then, he’s very useful around the house.” —Milwaukee Sentinel. , Wise and Otherwise—“ Miss Strong- mind says she doesn’t intend to marry until after the war, and then she’ll marry only a soldier?” “Why a soldier?” “Because her husband will then know the value of implicit obedience.”-—Boston Transcript. After the Russian Peace Conference “ Meus honrados collegas. Todos os nossos esforcos foram baldados. A guerra é ainda a causa do insuccesso da nossa empresa. Por isso devemos transferir a nossa conferencia pacifista para depois de celebrada a paz pelos belligerantes.” “Gentlemen, all our efforts were unsuccessful. The war is still the cause of the failure of our undertaking. I therefore suggest that we give up pacifist conferences until peace is de- clared by the belligerents.”—d Careta (Rio de Janicro).