Judge — March 2, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Miscalcu: “Je te presente ma moitié.” “And this is my better half.” | DARKIES | A Matter of Color—‘I think that little Ethiopian sprite is afraid of the dark.” “Sure he is; if he went out he might lose his identity.” —Cartoons Magazine. Still in Servitude—A gentleman traveling through Alabama was much interested in Uncle Ned. “So you were once a slave, ch?” said “How thrilling!” said the gentleman. “And after the war you got your freedom, eh?” “No, sah,” said Ned gloomily. “I didn’t git mah freedom, sah. After de war I done got married.""—Ladies’ Home Journal. Wrong Time—Recently a man had some work that he wanted done around his country place, and to that end he sought an elderly colored man named Rastus. Not being able to find Rastus, he left a message with a colored deacon. “Rastus,” said the deacon, later in the day, “yo’ am to go round an’ clean out dat hen house ob Judge Johnson’s tomor- row mo’ning.”” “What am dat?” responded Rastus, with a wondering expression. “Did yo’ say hen house?” lation —Le Péle-Méle (Paris). “Dat’s what I said,” repeated the deacon. ‘Yo’ am to clean out dat hen house tomorrow mo'ning.” “ Must be some mistake, deacon,” said Rastus, doubtfully shaking his head. “Who ebah heard ob cleanin’ out a hen house in daytime?"—Dayton News. Reduced in Rank—Because the newly- commissioned major on the way to To- Between Two Thieves El gall de den Joan Espanyol. john Spaniard’s feast. (The waiters are ” and “Profiteer.")—Esquella (Barce- ronto looked like ready money the porter had been very active in his attentions. His movements were of the “hot-foot”” variety whenever the officer appeared to require service. Also he was careful to address the major as “gin’ral.” And when the train neared the Union depot and, following the assiduous use of the brush, the sable servitor discovered him- self in the possession of a dime, he was equal to the emergency. He clicked his heels together, saluted and remarked, “Corp’ral, Ah t’ank yo’, sah.” —Argonaut. | MATRIMONY Strong Proof—"Does your wife ob- ject to your smoking in the house?” “Not verbally,” said Mr. Gadspur. “No?” “But I have so little difficulty in read- ing her thoughts that I’m convinced there must be a great deal of truth in mental telepathy.” —Birmingham Age-Herald, Not Warehouse Size—Mrs. Gowitt— Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out of the other. Husband—Great Scott! You don’t suppose my head’s big enough to hold all you say, do you? Home Life—“I see Newpop at the club quite often since his baby came. I thought he was anchored to a home life.” “He was, but at the first squall he began to drag his anchor.”—Boston Transcript. Patience Exhausted—Thcey had been engaged three years but there seemed no indications that the good ship matrimony was hovering in the offing. She was get- ting: restless but when she touched the subject he dexterously turned the con- versation. Recently he turned it off to physiology, a of which he was a student. he said, airily, “it is a strange vell authenticated fact that the whole human body changes every seven years. You, my dear, are Miss Jones now. In seven years you will have changed com- pletely. Not a particle of your present self will be left; but all the same, you will still be Miss Jones.” “Oh, I shall?” said the angry damsel, tugging away at the third finger of her left hand. “I assure you I won't, if I have to marry a—a milkman! Of all the impudence— Here, take your ring and I never want to see you again.”—San An- tonio Light. comicbooks.com XUM