Judge, 1918-03-02 · page 19 of 36
Judge — March 2, 1918 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page collects brief satirical quips organized under section headings. The content reflects WWI-era American concerns: **"War" section**: Dark humor about wartime anxieties—a man jokes he worries more about rent than the war's outcome; another quip dismisses the need for language skills when soldiers are sent to "shoot Germans, not debate." **"Doctors" section**: Medical satire, including a joke that general practitioners simply refer patients to specialists while charging fees—a timeless complaint about healthcare. **Other humor**: A French joke about a wife mistaking her husband's snoring for air-raid sirens reflects European combat fears. A "gas wave" toothache joke references poison gas warfare. A Turkish prisoner's distress over a wristwatch suggests German military superiority. The overall tone is cynical, treating wartime hardship, military life, and professional exploitation as fodder for dark comedy—typical of Judge's satirical approach during this period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CONCIERGE SS ~~ via? False Air-Raid Alarm monte: cous coucher, madame Floche, c'est pas les sirenes, j’oous dis que c'est mon mari qui “Go back to bed, Madame Floche. It’s not the sirens: it’s my husband snoring.” —Le Péle-Mé ¢ (Paris). A Glutton—Tommy—Pop, what is a glutton? Tommy's pop—A glutton, my son, is a grown man who can eat almost as much as a small boy.—Philadelphia Record. An Embarrassing Query—Litile Wil- lie—Mr. Bings, what baseball team do you play on? Sister’s adorer—I don’t play on any, Willie. Little Willie—Then why did Sis tell Ma you were such a poor catch?—Kenne- bec Journal. | war | No Piker—‘I’m worrying about the outcome of the war.” “Better worry about your rent.” “Oh, hang the rent! When I borrow trouble I borrow a hunk of it worth while.”—Boston Transcript. Unnecessary—“I don’t skurcely see how Nephew Adrian is going to get along over there in Europe,” said Mrs. Horn- beak. ‘He can’t speak enough of any foreign language to make himself under- stood.” “I don’t suppose he'll need to,” re- turned Farmer Hornbeak. “As I under- stand it, he has gone to shoot Germans, not to debate with ’em.”—Kansas City Star. We Wear 'Em—Rookcy—Why is that ferocious looking Turk prisoner weeping so bitterly? Lieutenant—He was captured by a man wearing a wrist watch.—Trench and Camp. Short Nights—A trainload of newly drafted men reached their cantonment late in the afternoon. By the time they had passed through the receiving station and the hands of the doctors, it was nearly midnight. Several of them were awak- ened at four o’clock the following morning to assist the cooks in preparing breakfast. As one well-built, sleepy, drafted man got to his feet he stretched and yawned: “Tt doesn’t take long to spend a night in the army.”—Everybody’s Magazine. An Unexpected Remedy—“ Hi, Bill! Here comes a gas wave! This toothache’s “Thank Heavens! almost killin’ me.”—Cartoons Magazine. | DOCTORS Remember the Specialist—Johns— Doctor, you are a general practitioner. What is the difference between that and a specialist? Doctor—A general practitioner, sir, is a man to whom you pay a fee for telling you to what specialist you should go.— Typographic Messenger. Last Resource—“ My dear, the doc- tor says I’m in need of a little change.” “Then ask him to give it to you. He’s got the last of mine.”—Baltimore American. Foresightedness “Faut-il que vous soyez riche pour pouvoir cous offrir tant de journaux que ¢a.” Fallait, comme moi, faire cos provisions avant la hausse.”” “My! you must be rich to indulge in that many newspapers!” “Ah, but I was smart enough to stock up wit cents.”—-Le Rire (Paris). them before the price was raised to two