Judge — March 2, 1918 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Apparition at Alfonso's Palace Semblaca com si hi anés a caure al damunt . . ‘The Red Cap is becoming more and more of a bugaboo. JUST KIDS No Trouble—The small boy stood at the garden gate and howled and howled and howled. A passing old lady paused beside him. “What's the matter, little man?” she asked in a kindly voice. “Q-o-oh!” wailed the youngster. “Pa and ma won't take me to the pictures tonight!” “But don’t make such a noise,” said the dame, admonishing. “Do they ever take you when you cry like that?” “Sometimes they do, an’ sometimes they d-d-on't,” bellowed the boy. “But it ain’t no trouble to yell!” —Jrish World. Curiosity—Little Mary, seeing a cow: “Mother, is that the cow I saved a part of last meatless Tuesday?”—Chicago News. Why—Teacher—Now, Patsy, would it be proper to say, “You can’t learn me nothing”? Patsy—Yes'm. Teacher—Why? Patsy—'Cause you can’t.—Minncapo- lis Tribune. « pero al fi haurd passat de arg Esquella (Barcelona) Picnic Was Off—Baby’s uncle met her in the street one day and asked her whether she was going with a picnic party from her school. “No,” replied the cight-year-old niece. “T ain’t going!” “My dear,” said the uncle, “you must not say ‘I ain’t going.’ You must say ‘I am not going.’” And he proceeded to give her a little lesson in grammar. “You are not going. He is not going. We are not going. They are not going. Now, can you say all that?” “Oh, yes!” responded Baby heartily. “There ain’t nobody going!”—London -Inswers. Easy—“ Ike,” said Mrs. Partington, “how do they find out the distance be- tween the earth and the sun?” “Oh,” said the young hopeful, “they calculate a quarter of the distance, and then multiply by four.”"—Houston Post. Naturally—Teacher—What is the third letter of the alphabet, Johnny? Johnny—Don't know. Teacher—What do you do with your eyes? Johnny—Sleep.—Dallas News. Waiting—The children of the neigh- hood had been greatly interested by the news of the arrival of a baby at the Joneses’ and one of them put this ques- tion to little Willie Jones. “What is your new brother’s name?” “They haven’t found out yet,” replied Willie. “He can’t _ talk.”"—Harper’s Magazine. Descriptive—Asked by his Sunday- school teacher to write an essay upon Elisha, a boy brought the following effu- sion to his class on the next Sabbath: “There was a man named Elisha. He had some bears, and he lived in a cave. Some boys tormented him. He said, ‘If you keep on throwing stones at me I'll turn the bears on you, and they'll eat you up.’ And they did, and he did, and the bears did.”—London Fun. Small Boy’s Explanation—Stranger —(at the front gate)—Do you think your mother could let me have some eggs? Small boy—No, ma’am. Our chickens have all gone dry.—Akron Times. No Place—Little Richard’s mother took him for a visit to his grandparents. When bedtime approached he was in- structed to kiss each of his relatives good- night. He hesitated when he came to his grandfather, who wore a long, heavy beard. “Aren’t you going to tell grandfather good-night, dear?” his mother asked. “No, mother, I can’t,” was the reply, “there isn’t any place to tell him.”— Irgonaut. Evolution ‘The ultimate bird-man.—Bystander (Lon- fon). comicbooks.com