Judge, 1918-02-23 · page 33 of 36
Judge — February 23, 1918 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine (dated February 27, 1918) contains college humor and wartime satire. The main content includes: **"With the College Wits"** — A series of brief jokes from college humor magazines (Chaparral, Gargoyle, Lampoon, etc.). These mock naive or foolish exchanges among students—a young man misinterpreting a woman's refusal to ride in a car with stripped gears as prudishness; absurdist bathroom humor. **"Another Argument for Military Training"** — A joke where a professor naively asks a military officer if pulling a trigger harder makes bullets go farther, mocking the public's ignorance about firearms during WWI. **"Sympathetic Hun" and "Petit Pierre"** — References to German ("Hun") soldiers; a joke about a French child unable to speak German to pray. **"Dictionary of Military Pronunciation"** — A satirical guide to military speech, mocking how officers bark unintelligible orders. The page predominantly advertises mailing lists, cigarettes, and newspaper clipping services. It's typical WWI-era humor satirizing military training, courtship confusion, and wartime cultural differences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| With the College Wits 2. ME so as oe Lost in Transmission—‘“ Bernice is an aw- ful prude!” “News to me! Tell me why.” “Refused to ride with me when I told her the car’s gears were stripped.” —Chaparral. Another Argument for Military Training Enthusiastic prof—And is it true, Lieutenant, that the harder you pull the trigger the farther the bullet will go?—Widow. Dans Ia Salle de Bain—Yom—Gce, I'll have to take a lot of baths this week. Al—Zasso? Tom—Yep. Soap’s too big to fit in the box.— Gargoyle. Confound Her!—Nellora—Why did you give up John? Esther—1 couldn't’ marry anyone with a crooked nose. Nellora—How did his nose become crooked? Estiter—Oh, he broke it when I pulled a chair out from under him.—Gargoyle. You're Blamed Right—The grouch—Why do all men speak of women who are the least bit good looking as “blamed pretty women?” The sardonic simp—Easy. If they’re pretty, they’re sure to be blamed.—Gargoyle. Your Prospective Customers are listed In our Catalog of 99% guaranteed Mailing Lists, [t also contains vital su; gestions bow to advertise and sell profita! by mall. Counts and prices given on 6000 diferent national Lists, covering all classes; tor instance, Farmers, Noodle Mirs.y Hard ware Dirs.s Zine Mises, etc. This 0a able Reference Book free. Write (ot it. Strengthen Your Advertising Literature Our Advertising Counsel andSsles Promotion Service will improve both your plan and copy, thus Insurlog maximum profits ‘Submit your literature for preltainary analysis and quotation—no obligation,, Ross-Gould Lists St.ronis EGYPTIAN DEIT “The Utmost in s Plain End PREFER. Deities to any other cigarette 25° hs Makers of the Tarkish Playing Safe—Pain—Can you fix my tooth without hurting? The dentist—Yes, Vl give you gas and you won't feel a thing. But, you needn’t pay me now, wait until I’m through. Pain—I wasn’t going to pay you. I was counting my money to sce how much I had on me.—Orange Peel. Sympathetic Hun—Now, Kinder, ask Gott to look after your mother and father. Petit: Pierre—Ask Him y eli, you big stiff; I can’t sp German!—Lampoon. A Delicate Subject I ride on one | of these here one-rail affa “Y-yes, but it took thre Gargoyle. men to do it.”— | A Dictionary of Military Pronunciation —By observing the methods of pronouncing com- mands laid down here, one may readily become almost as unintelligible as the most military gradu- ates of Plattsburg. Experience in the New York subway is invaluable. Command Squads right Squads left Right front into line Glighthjkl qw Pronounced Squaw—grighk!! , burnph! .-Punsk ri injonk winelt . .grownkdw?—mbhurk --To huh heuh—hark! .-.-Klumfunny—squalt! —Purple Cow. Left turn ‘ On right into line Forward march To the rear march Company halt. Practically Useless—‘‘I’m going to a very secluded and inexpensive camp this summer. You don’t even need a bathing suit.” “Ts that so?” “Yes. There isn’t a stream within fifteen miles.” —Gargoyie. Pall—Is that friend Black of yours honest? Mall—Honest? Why, he wouldn’t even skin a banana.—Punch Bowl. PRESS CLIPPING We will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “up-to- date.” Every newspaper and periodical of im- portance in the United States and Europe is searched. Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., New York HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. 32, 34 and 16 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouses: 30 Beekman Street, New York, and 32 Clinton Strect, Newark, N.J- ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER