Judge — February 23, 1918 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Two Best Pals a boy ever has are a faithful dog and an Old Town, the Master Canoe. Old Towns are sturdy, buoyant and quickly responsive to each They will take you where the bunt- {ny and fishing are best. Write for Catalog. OLD TOWN 1743 Main St. CANOE CO. r Wall Nuts ‘By JAMES MONTGOMERY FLAGG This clever picture. in full colors, 11x14, mounted on a heavy mat, ready for the frame, sent prepaid for twenty. five cents. Judge Art Print Department L 225 FIFTH AVE. NEW YORK CITY Discord in a Minor Flat By Hawry H. S AMPIPES of Pan sate my rest— The cellar Vulc: 3 Above my head a rigadoon Is hammered to a fiendish tune, The milkman’s shrill crescendo swells With tintinnabulating bells, And Tony’s voice, in nasal key Completes the dread cacophany. Crrtcte But at my side, as oft before. The obligato of a snore — Defies the clamor of the morn; I face the music all forlorn, And while the panes with frost are rimed (No breakfast bell has sweetly chimed) All out of tune, I seize my hat, And, allegretto, leave the flat. So Common “Aren’t you doing Red Cross work any more?” “No, my dear. mon!” It got to be so com- Can't Be Done “Will you give a poor man a dime to get something to eat?” “A dime! Now I know NEW HOTEL BINGHAM, Philadelphia In the ce xd and com- you're lying!”” Large, we er of everythin Hot and coid running w fh, PRANK KIMBLE, Manager. WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME simple thing to patent? _ Protect your ideas, they may being you wealth. | Write for « and " mt and Your Randotph & Co., Potent Attorneys Dept. 129, Washiseton, DG, The Home-Makers By Gorton Verper Carkutu Y whole week long is full of song So light a heart I carry For Saturday I draw my pay And go to shop with Mary. Sedately but greatly Delightéd with our daring We shop about to furnish out The home we'll soon be sharing. Oh! Mary’s eyes are bargain wise— 1 Vow no other shopper Can half attain her skill to gain The value of a copper. I wonder and blunder \ happy dunce before her But she’s so kind that I don’t mind . And all the clerks adore her. Ah, we could shop and never stop For we enjoy it wholly And never fret because we get Our goods together slowly. For hurry is worry And that would spoil our pl So piece by piece our goods inc The rarest kind of treasure. The loving care and joy we share Will be our home’s foundation, And sure are we our home will be The finest in the nation So scheming and dreaming From store to store we wander, And shopping brings the best of things— A love that still grows fonder. A Preparedness Course ‘They were questioning the suburbanite home from the trenches. “And weren’t you terrified that night among the barbed wire entanglemen “No,” he replied. ‘I have come home late when the wife has left the croquet set out on the lawn.” Admonishing Him “Paw, what’s the gloaming?” asked one of the several small sons of Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “Say, looky yur, Blister!” severely said his sire. Talk English if you're going to talk a-tall. The gloaming is what foreigners call the shank of the evening.” One Definition “What is an intellectual?” “A‘literary critic who has failed as an author.” For Those Going Abroad AETER a lapse of seceral months, sve have reestablished the sale of Jupce in London and Paris. Copies will be on sale in London at the Atlas Publishing Co., 21 Bride Lane, and English news-dealers may order through them. In Parts, copies coill be found on sale at Messageries Hachette & Cie, rue Paul Lelong, and all news-dealers in’ France may order their supply of Jupce through this well-known agency. | ‘a> Leslie-Judge Representatives WANTED In Small Towns and Country Districts WE rant you to help us introduce to the firesides country homes, The Happy Medium, JUDGE. and the magazine of the happy side of the movies FILM FUN, and America’s Only Illustrated News. paper, LESLIE'S WEEKLY Young men and young women (19 to No experience necessary a No Single Copy Sale. Use your spare from $5 to $25 a we the winter and earn double th: Answer quickly so you can and description of town, tow: holidays, ete in all of your ti amount. art now. G ip or terri SUB-AGENCYCDEPARTMENT LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York City All Off She—You said that I should be your queen, and at my slightest whim you'd go out and murder people. He—You'll have to cut the queen stuff, Millicent. I have been reading President Wilson’s proclamations—and_ I’m _ for making even the world of matrimony safe for democracy. Conflicting Engagements She—How can your wife persuade the exemption board that she is a dependent? He—Wait till she gets done picketing and she'll show you. He Didn't Know “She believes in the doctrine of non- stance, doesn’t she?” I don’t know. Haven't called on her yet.” Fact It not infrequently happens that the sick man who has a pretty nurse doesn’t fully realize his condition till it is too late. Five Rich Cuban Cigars 5 French's superb Cuban Special. Fille of Havana leaves co ther, Drard of cleat ite ‘root tous in the man