Judge — February 23, 1918 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

February 23, 1918 By Geo. M. Wallace, Second Lieutenant Co. D. ‘Amer. Force, New York City Top—Well? What’s the growl now? Priv.—Who censors the mail? Top—Lieut. Yanut. What’s the kick? Priv.—Ya'd kick too, Top, if you and the Loot wrote to the same girl. Said the mess orderly at the headquarters officers’ mess, “Say, cook, this plate of beans is O. K.” “Howzat?” asked the cook, testing the cocoa’s warmth with his thumb. “Because it was just passed by the censor!” (N. B.—Pity the poor Gas Attack editors. They get jokes like this every day. If they | don’t run them, the author, who is usually a six-foot-two top sergeant, comes around and wants to know why.)—Wadsworth Gas Attack. Dear Editor: Tam troubled. At night when «42s sound I find I can not go to sleep immediustery and often lay awake fifteen or twenty minutes vefore I can slumber. Oh, what shall 5 ao? Strery BRAINs. Sleepy Brains: It is very simple. Tonight just before taps go to the supply tent and get the largest ham- mer you can find. Give it to the corporal in charge of your squad. Lay down on your cot comfortably and prepare for a long, long sleep. If the corporal is strong enough and the ham- mer is harder than your head you will sleep soundly for many hours. Messy Eprtor. —Sheridan Reveille. ¢ ~~Five Minutes from Anywhere~~~ Hotel Colonnade Chestnut at 15th Street ; Philadelphia, Pa. One square from Broad Street Station. Four squares from ing Terminal, in the heart of the Theatre and Shopping Districts. Rooms $1.50 Up. With Bath, $2.00 Up Three Restaurants —Two Dance: Floors Wire Resereations at Our Expense Miserable Corns- | How to end them Touchy corns make thou- sands suffer—on pleasure trips—in business—at home—everywhere. Until they once try Blue- jay. Then they are corn- free forever. Painful corns are utterly needless. Science has brought relief. The medi- cated spot of wax on a Blue-jay Plaster stops pain in- stantly. Then in 48 hours the corn painlessly comes out. Harsh li- quids are dangerous tion. Blue-jay For Corns Stops Pain Inst. inds Corns Conetetty Also Blue-jay Bunion Plasters No corn can resist Blue- jay. Yet this way is most gentle. The chemist of a con- cern known the world over for its surgical dressings discovered Blue-jay. He studied corns for 25 years. So with Science's way at your command, no touchy corn need ever bother you again. Blue-jay Plasters are sold every- where at drug Storee for 25 cents Per package. Buy a pack- age now. End your corn at once and never let one pain again. BAUER & BLACK, Makers of Surgical Dressings, etc., Chicago and New York How Sweet Since coming to the sunny south We've had so much molasses We all are getting quite stuck up Aud feel like silly asses. —Sheridan Reveille. Too Late Raw National Army recruit (Italian parent- age)—Halt! Who dere? Soldier (after taps)—Friend. Same recruit—No friend. Too late.—Wads- worth Gas Attack. That Makes It Unanimous There goes the call for reveille— I love to hear it summon me; I love to get up in the morning, too, Ido, Ido—like H——I Do! —A. F. S. Had Ordered It After muster—Say, Cook Gorman, did you get mustered yet? Cook Gorman—Sure I ordered the darn stuff but it didn’t come yet. The Bomb Thrower I tossed a bomb into the air; It came to earth right over there; And when that little bomb it fell A dozen Fritzies went to H—. —Sheridan Reveille. Some fellows are awful reckless with their money. After paying their insurance, allot- ment, Liberty bond and the barber they’ll go out and squander the remaining $1.80. Easy come, easy go.—Trench and Camp. comicbooks.com