Judge — February 16, 1918 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

His Bit—Tailor—Shall I put in the usual number of pockets in the trousers, sir? Customer—No! Only one. My wife is a busy woman with her war work now, and I don’t want to take up too much of her time.—Sydney Bulletin. No Hurry—The telephone bell rang with anxious persistence. The doctor “Oh, doctor,” said a worried voice, “something seems to have happened to Her mouth scems set and she can’t say a word.” “Why, she ma medical man “Do you think so? Well, if you are up this way some time next week I wish you would step in and see what you can do for her.” —Harper’s. Magazine. have lockjaw,” said the Foresight—Mr. dwell came home well pleased with his achievement at the employment agency. “T engaged two cooks today “Why two?” said his wife. only one.” “Tknow,” said Mr. Feedwell, “but one comes tomorrow and the other a week from tomorrow.” —Pittsburgh Chronicle- Telegraph. he said. “We need Kind-Hearted—He (brutally)—Wo- men have no sense of humor, anyhow. She (pointedly)—Oh, yes, they have. The reason they don’t laugh at the funny things they see is because they don’t want to hurt the poor things’ feelings.— Richmond Times-Dispatch. On the Rocks—‘Their honeymoon is over.” “Dear me! that?” “I haven't the slightest doubt of it. She’s beginning to remind him that she was making $25 a week when he married her.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. Are you quite sure about _ “I must leave off, now, dear, because the General wants to have a battle.”"— Bystander, London. . Now that American Things are all the Rage “Uifred, je cous appellerai desormais Cil-de-Faucon. dans le nez et vous arreter Madame Noveau-Rich my “at home” day yo Le Rire (Paris.) les taxis au lasso.” Idle Tears—“No, my ‘usband ain't killed, Mrs. Marks. No sooner did I put all the kids in mournin’, even to Biby in the pram, when I gets a telegram a sayin’ ‘e’s alive and well. Yes, an’ all this ex- pense for nothin’.” “Wot a crool shame!”"—Passing Show. Happy Thought—Miss Askit—Does your husband smoke those cigars you gave him Christmas? Mrs. Nuwed—He smoked one and said he would keep the rest to remind him of my kindness.—Miassouri Mule. His Case—“I know a man who knows perfectly well how to manage a wife in every particular.” He may know how, but does he do No, because they won't let him out of the insane asylum long enough to try.”"— Baltimore American. Mon jour, vous porteres un anncau Mfred, from now on I'll call you Hawk-Eye. On ur nose and stop the taxis with a lassoo.” — Her Mite—“My poor woman,” said the settlement-worker, “what can I do to relieve your distress?” Can you sing, ma’am?” “Why—er—a little.” “I wish you'd sing some of the new .ma’am. Me and my husband to a cabaret in two years.”— Birmingham (Ala.) Age-Herald. His Reception— Was your wife an- gry when you got home late last night?” “Angry? Why, my boy, the dear woman pelted me with flowers!” “But how did you get that black eye?” “Well, you see, she neglected to take the flowers out of the pots before she threw them.”’—Philadelphia Ledger. Henry Knows—IWife—You know, Henry, I speak as I think. Husband—Yes, my love; only oftener. —Topeka Journal. comicbooks.com