Judge — January 26, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HARRIS HOMES SS When YouBuild“THE HARRIS WAY” lite Bs pecere the a oe SE Opt crepe wmmediataye by g gar fears Free Book of Plat Plans. ae gen eS iy Flaine x cs HARRIS BROTHERS CO., Dept. $64 CHICAGO ROMEIKE’S PRESS CLIPPING BUREAU We will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “up-to-date.” Every news- paper and periodical of impor- tance in the United States and Europe is searched. Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE 106-110 Seventh Avenue New York City The Oldest Antique HE Pyramids are very old; The Sphinx is also, I am told. Westminster Abbey’s far from new; The Tow’r of London's ancient, too. The wall of China dateth back ‘To years way off of memory’s track. Mysterious Stonehedge, bare and bleak, If tales be true, is some antique And likewise, in the burg of Rome, \ trifle old is Peter's dome. The carvings found in Yucatan Had passed their youth when time began; And equal in antiquity Our own mid-western mounds may be. But older far than all of these, As old as hills, as old as seas, Is something else—I'm right, you'll sa: Stories with Smiles Blame It on the Tire drove it on the street-car tracks with con- fidence superb; scraped it on the lamp-posts and he scraped it on the curb; slammed it and he jammed it any way might desire, He He He he And ‘when it popped, Right out he hopped, And blamed it on the tire. He put on chains that ground and chewed and gouged into the tread; He knew his wheels were out of line, “But what of that?” he said, whizzed along and sizzed along, he picked up nails and wire, He And when it banged His fist he whanged, And blamed it on the tire. He didn’t pump it full enough, though all the air is free; left it soft and spongy-like, with glee; skidded and he dust and mire, He and scooted on He tidded and whooped throughs And when it burst He cursed and cursed, And blamed it on the tire. He cut it on some broken glass, but said that didn’t hurt; kept right on through sand and mud and filled the cut with dirt, It spotted there and rotted there and soon he howled in ire, He When up it blew He blew up, too, And blamed it on the tire. * Who is this man? Go ask the boys who meet him every day. Go ask the boys who have to hear the things he has to say. He bores in and he roars in with words of fire, angry Though he’s to blame, It’s all the same— He blames it on the tire. Wilbur D. Nesbit, in the Goodrich In Their Sleep—‘They say Boggs is crazy on the subject of golf, and his wife is equa!ly crazy over auction sales.” “Yes, and the funny part of it is they both talk in their sleep. The other night a lodger in the next flat heard Boggs shout, ‘Fore!’ and immediately Mrs. Boggs yelled, ‘Four and a quarter!’ ""—Boston Transcript. Out of Reach—* Just ask Dr. Jones to run round to my place right aw; Our cook’s fallen downst broke her leg; the hous maid's got chicken- pox, and my two boys ha been knocked down by a taxi. but the doctor was blown up ir raid and he won't be down for Unpalatable Truth—Sanderson was on a visit to Simpkins and in due course, naturally, he was shown the family album. said Simpkins, as he turned the hat’s my wife’s second cousin's aunt HEADACHE TABLETS 27 YEARS THE ENEMY OF PAIN kr Headaches, Neuralgias, LaGrippe 2.Colds Rheumatic 22a Sciatic Pains Sk Ibur Drggist For AH Tablets 10° + 25% See Monogram Ko the Genuine The Antikamnia Chemical Co, St. Louis Susan. And that’s Cousin James, and that’s a friend of ours, and that—or, now, who do you think that is: “Don't know, “Well, that’s my boy. said Sanderson. wife’s first husband, my Great Scot! What a perfect brainless- looking idiot. But excuse me, old fellow. I didn’t know your wife was a widow when you married her. “She wasn’t,” said Simpkins stiffly. ‘That ir, is a portrait of myself at the age of 20. Bits. The Imperative Mood—When General ( Leonard Wood was a small boy he was called up in the grammar class. The teacher sail id i “Leonard, give me a sentence and we'll see | | can change it to the imperative mood.” he horse draws the cart,” “Very good. imperative. “Get up! Register. said Leonard. Now change the sentence to an said young Wood.—Christian Instant Bunion Relief a ove It At My Expense Don’t send me one cont—jus you as I have done for over Kost tx months. censful remedy for bunions ever made and 1 wal! ‘OW my Falrytose. (reat! nereaiied cures. without succes t a Fou, to let me send ree. I don't care how man; shields or pads you ever tried don’t care how disgusted iy of the pain: It removes tbe ¢% of the bunion and thus the ugly deformity disappears — all’ this while you, are wearit Uchler shoes than ever. and address and Falrytoot. will Dromptly In plain sealed eovelope. FOOT REMEDY CO. 3594 West 26th STREET, CHICAGO WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME simple thing to patent? Protect your ideas, they may bring you wealth. Write for “Needed Inventions” and “How to Get Your Patent and Your Money.” Randolph & Co, Patent Attorneys, Dept. 129, Washington, D. C. Just send your name ent Joo be