Judge — January 26, 1918 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

January 26, 1918 Passing the Mustard he Colonel is very polite.” ard put to it today, however?” “How was that?” | “He tried to hold a revolving door open.”— | Kansas City Journal. | Answered—The legal professor—Now, will some member of the class please give me three | examples of common property? | The smart Aleck — Yes, matches and umbrellas. Dispatch. ir — cigare' Richmond Times- Impossible !—/istress (engaging new maid) | —You say the last family you worked for were jerman: | id (apologetically)—Yes'm, but they was | sterilized when war broke out.—Snap-Shots. | Characteristic—‘ American as you are.) don't you think you would really be awed by | the presence of a king?” | “Not if [held an ace.” —Baltimore American. | The Place for Him—“He's so reckless ’s always taking chances.” | Oh, do send him to our charity bazaar.”"— | Houston Post. As Usual—AAdvertising man—Can you let me have a dollar? I don’t get paid till to- morrow: Reporter—Sorry, I haven’t a cent. paid yesterday.—Detroit Saturday Night. I was Misunderstood—Brown said—I changed from low to high. Said Jones—That you've a car is news. Brown said—The deuce a car have 1; I'm speaking not of gears, but shoes.—Boston Tran- script. ‘a> Leslie-Judge Representatives WANTED In Small Towns and Country Districts WE xxant you to help us introduce to the firesides of country homes, The Happy Medium, JUD( ne of the happy side of the mov Only Illustrated) >men (17 to 21) preferred ience 5 teach and help you to Secure subscriptions for three and six months and a year. No Single Copy Sale. Use your spare time evenings. holidays, ete., and earn from $5 to $25 a week, or put in all of your time during the winter im double this amount. Answer quickly so you can start now. Give population and description of town, township or territory you think you can cover. SUB-AGENCY DEPARTMENT LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York City men Irregular—“Fine pair of spurs you have have there, Colonel.” “I suppose you won them on some battle- field.” “No,” said the Colonel, with some embar- rassment. “ The fact is, I won these spurs at a raffle.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. The Modern Spirit—Hc—I would give lots to make you happy. She — or lmerican. improved? — Baltimore Auntie’s Error—‘I must say this khaki camping skirt is a loose fit.” “You're in wrong, auntie. That is the boy’s tent you have on.”"—Louisville Courier-Journal. Caught—The wife of a Dorchester man who had the traditional failing—he forgot to mail letters—has cured him. The mail is de- livered at their home before the breakfast hour —which is comparatively late. One morning she said to her husband: “Did you have any mail this morning, dear?” “Only a circular,”’ he answered as he bit into a fine brown slice of to: “Huh,” said the wife. “By the way, you mail the letters I gave you yesterday?” was the rightcously indignant Well,” answered wife, with an eloquent smile, “it’s funny, then, you had _no letters this morning, because one of those I gave you I was addressed to you—just as a sort of —Boston Herald. Narrowing Down—‘You scem happy, Dolores.” “Tam.” “Is Ferdy paying you more attention?” “No; but since this three-cent postage came in he has stopped w town girls.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. ls; | road stations and Going! Going!—‘ Did I understand you to say that that man takes a lively interest in the advancement of art?” “What is he—an artist or a collector?” “Neither. He’s an auctioncer.”—Birming- ham Age-Herald. Hezekiah’s Progress—Uncle Josh was on his way to town one afternoon, and chancing to sce his friend Abner working in an adjacent field, he paused for a small chat over the barbed- wire fence. Incidentally inquiry was made after Abner’s eldest son, Hezekiah. “Hezekiah is in the city now,” answered Abner, with some show of pride. “Been there most a year.” “Yes, I know that,” returned Uncle Josh. “What I was wonderin’ was which side he was on.” “Which side he was on?” queried Abner, with a puzzled expression. “I don’t just quite git ye.” “What I mean, Abner,” explained Uncle Josh, “is Hezekiah buyin’ gold bricks yet, or has he started to sell ’em?”—Dayton News. The Brute—“How very fluent your par- rot is!”” “Yes; Talways hang his cage up in the room when my wife’s club meets here.”—Baltimore American. NEW HOTEL BINGHAM, Philadelphia In the center of everything. Large. well lighted and com- fortable rooms. Hot and cold running water in every room. Only hotel having direct Subway connection with all, rail- ferries. Root garden. Club. breakfast. Rooms without bath, $1.50; with bv FRANK KIMBLE, Manager ial luncheons. per day and up. HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos, 32, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouses: 30 Beekman Street, New York, and 32 Clinton Street, News ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER: comichooks.