Judge, 1917-12-29 · page 7 of 29
Judge — December 29, 1917 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous poem and accompanying illustrations present a prehistoric love triangle satirizing timeless human nature. Two cavemen—Ug (brutish, muscular, appetitive) and Ag (thoughtful, artistic, clever)—compete for a cave maiden named Iz. The satire's point: despite our evolutionary progress, humans remain governed by the same base impulses as our primitive ancestors. Ug represents brute strength and violence; Ag represents intellect and refinement. The twist—that Ag ultimately wins Iz not through force but cleverness and song—suggests that intelligence and culture can triumph over brutality. The final couplet's ironic conclusion ("caught by cleverness of mind") implies that even romantic conquest involves strategy rather than pure emotion. This reflects Judge magazine's common theme: modern civilization merely masks our savage origins.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
XUM A Romance of the Caves Ke Joa. WALDRON HEN caves were shelters, Ug and Ag liced in adjoining hills. As kids they often chewed the rag with gutturals and shrills. And on occasion. too. they fought with apparatus crude, And in each other terror wrought. for they were very rude. Ug was a hairy hunter bold, with muscles deep and wide; Raw meat and fish quite fresh and cold he wolfed with scales and hide. He never saw in all he met aught but for appetite, And though he laughed at cold and wet, he was afraid of night. Ag was of fibre finer. yet a Cave Man just the same. He liced on birds and roots and set deft snares for smaller game. And Ag had dreams, and conned the sky. and fancied this and that, And wondered how great birds could fly as oft in awe he sat. The ancient man, like man to-day. was moced by loce and hate— Wes impulsed both to fight and play. to murder and to mate. And when to Ug and Ag appeared a Cace Maid known as I, Each took an oath upon his beard that Cave Maid should be his. They courted her, each in his way, for many changing skies. Ug being bulder in his play, Ag in a secret guise; For had Ug found Ag with the maid—naught did this sacage reck— The game he would alone hace played by breaking Aggie's neck And yet the fights of brawn and brain. os human records say. Hace been uneven in the main, just as they are to-day. Ug brought Iz meat, and growled his love. and wondered what was wrong, While Ag. more neat, coved like a dove. and won her with a song. Untrue, you think? Well, Ag had brain. He caught Ug in a snare And beat him till he lost all pain. for then that game was fair. And woman then the satage sought, and scorned the gentler kind? Perhaps ‘tis so; yet Iz was caught by clecerness of mind. comicbooks.com