Judge, 1917-10-06 · page 9 of 28
Judge — October 6, 1917 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Victory Without Peace"** is the page's ironic title, contrasting with the content below—a humorous essay on manipulating others into listening to you talk about yourself. **The main illustration** depicts two toddlers, likely representing the warring nations of World War I (the page references "the Kaiser" and U-boats in the queries section). Their aggressive postures and the title suggest that even after military victory, nations will continue destructive competition and self-interest. **The essay "How to Make Others Listen"** satirizes social selfishness: it describes escalating manipulation tactics—from crude demands for attention to sophisticated deception—to force others to endure your personal complaints. The humor lies in its frank acknowledgment of universal human narcissism. **The "Queries" section** contains wordplay and satirical questions about WWI (drafting soldiers, Germany's relationship with Allied powers) mixed with absurdist humor, typical of Judge magazine's style. The underlying message: humanity's petty selfishness mirrors nations' inability to achieve genuine peace—we're all just trying to make others listen to our grievances.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HOW TO MAKE OTHERS LISTEN LTHOUGH it is often difficult to interest others in your own personal affairs, remember that almost anything can be accomplished in this world by perseverance. At first you may feel discouraged, but a sure skill and an abiding sense of confidence are bound to come in time. All things come to him who goes after them properly. At first you will quite naturally go about it roughly. You will grab your friend and say to him, ‘Here, I want to talk to you about myself.” After you have caught him two or three times this way he will get wary. It is indeed quite marvelous how expert people can become in avoiding you. But as their efficiency in this direction increases, yours will also. You can become by practice so innocent-looking that you can fool almost anybody. It is best, in the carly stages, to begin with some purely im- personal allusion such as, “It’s a fine day to-day.” This will almost invariably throw your victim off the scent. When you get him thawed out a little you can then gradually bring the conversation around to a lengthy explanation—on your part— of some of your principal troubles. When you have become more advanced, however, finer work will be required. In this case you will boldly give the other man the distinct impression that your sole object in life is to talk about his affairs. When you have thus led him on you can suddenly switch off by saying, “That reminds me of some- thing that happened to me.” Always remember to start the discussion of your own affairs VICTORY WITHOUT PEACE as if they were purely incidental to something else. In this way you can work them in anywhere, at any moment, on anybody— a source of growing pleasure, especially if you happen to be an carnest soul, with an ingrowing enthusiasm. —Chesterton Todd. QUERIES Wille the government is drafting soldiers for the front why not cooks. for the back? On the road can you deny that one man’s dust is another man’s poison? With the Kaiser-on a U-boat, would the name be automat- ically changed’ to I-boat? Who first called a department store clerk a counter irritant? Why does Germany still think the United States is only morganatically married to the Entente? a What is more eternally fit than that liquor should rhyme with flicker? When a man runs the gauntlet of a summer hotel piazza, does he mutter to himself “‘ Passing the love of woman”? Is it allowable at the seashore to speak of a “low dive,” or should that sort of talk be reserved entirely for the uplifters? After learning to use the words fortuitous, metabolism, pathology, neurotic and co-ordination freely, can your reputa- tion for cleverness really be impugned? —Kate B. Burton. Had Been Doing It Owner of car—What does that sign “Detour” mean? Chauffeur—It means that I must take the car off the regular road. Owner of car—Well, you've been doing that ever since we started. comichooks.