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Judge, 1917-09-15 · page 12 of 28

Judge — September 15, 1917 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Judge — September 15, 1917 — page 12: Judge, 1917-09-15

What you’re looking at

This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"Cut Off From His Base"** (top): A romantic dialogue between a man named Bert and a woman discussing their engagement. The satire appears to mock sentimental romance and broken engagements—she's trying to convince him not to leave, referencing flowers he brought and an engagement ring, while he attempts to resist emotional manipulation. **"Some People We Have Known"** (left column): A character sketch mocking "Ino Lotts," a teenage girl who reads salacious magazines, dresses like chorus girls, and believes she knows everything despite knowing nothing she "ought to" know. The satire targets both precocious youth and parental permissiveness. **"My Cable Address"** and **"A Pertinent Query"** (right): Brief humorous pieces—one about pretentiously listing a cable address despite never receiving cables; the other poking fun at a lawyer's circular logic that Shakespeare must have written his plays because he was a lawyer, implying no "uncommon men" exist outside the legal profession. The humor relies on social observation and mild mockery of contemporary attitudes.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS BASE FROM CUT OFF “But TE didn't want you to do that! Haven't you felt really, Bert, that we shouldn't give cach other up?” Their eyes were meeting, and there was a recurrence of ippeal that thrilled him, though he tried to ignore it. “Why should [ have felt that?” * Because She held up her hand. was still in place Oh, that doesn’t matter so much, does it? [ supposed you were k it as a souvenir. Perhaps as a trophy.” “Bert!” There were tears now. He couldn't resist the impulse to take her hand. that why you came to see me?” “No. You brought me.” 1? How?” The flowers. had.” “He was silent a moment, and then he laughed, glad I forgot.” He took both hands. Forgot: what?” > countermand the order! SOME PEOPLE WE HAVE KNOWN NO LOTTS is a wise little trick. She isn’t through high school yet. But she knows much more than her old-maid teachers, not counting book learning and common sense. What she hasn't read in the truth-will-ma see magazines for the uplift of the home is worth reading. and it won't take you long to doit. The rest of what she knows has been learned from various sources. which is the best thing that can be said about them. Ino has the original y can’t -spring-anything-new-on- me gleam in her familiar eyes. “She leers at you as if it were the only up-to-date thing to do. Her parents don’t know whether to be proud of her or not, and they are half right. They allow her to go where and when she pleases and to dress as the chorus ladies don’t. Ino Lotts knows almost everything that she ought not know and nothing that she ought to. She believes that the an awfully wicked place and that everybody ought . She will shortly marry cither a young fool or an Then she will be more certain than ever that been right about everything.—//. IW’. Dee. An engagement ring “Was Every day they carre, just as they always “Pm world is to know old idiot. she has alw: Somebody's Darlings A. R. ER I stroll the broad thoroughfare, ither morning or noon or by night, And meet ir damsel dressed fit for the show, And she looks not at me I instinctively know She is somebody's darling all right And in the great stores all abloom with their wares, Midst ribbons and laces and light, Where over the counter, her checks all aglow, I see the tall blonde, I certainly know She is somebody’s darling all right. In the office and lobby, and station and hall, Wherever they fall on my sight, These wonderful creatures that flash to and fro Like the breath of the gods, Lam grateful to know They are somebody's darlings all right!—Jor Cone MY CABLE ADDRESS TLY I had my printer put my cable address on my letterhead. : ickered myself to death it it seriously, thinking of the that bluff would give me is so hard to kid oneself! I have never had, and probably never will have, a cable gram, T would be seared blue if T was handed one addres: But it is good letterhead bunk when you are writing to plumb strangers Yet seeing myself doing it and knowing why, I wonder how some of the others who have cable addresses on their letter- heads can keep their faces straight. Strickland Gillilan A PERTINENT QUERY ‘T was at a Shakespeare Club in a small country town. ‘The president of the club, a young lawyer, was giving his views on the Shakespeare-Bacon controversy, and closed his argu ment thus: “I feel sure speare wrote the plays, because he was a lawyer. No common man could have written them.” \ timid little woman, catching his eye. asked anxiously: “Are there then no uncommon men but lawyers?” 1to me. Lieutenant—I| am to marry Bess on Tuesday, and leave for France on Thursday! Bessie's best girl frierd—Allow me to congratulate you! comicbooks.com