Judge, 1917-09-01 · page 5 of 28
Judge — September 1, 1917 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon**: "His wife (acidly)—We'll be going now, Bertram, you've been looking for U-boats long enough!" This satirizes a husband obsessively searching for German U-boats (submarines) during what appears to be a beach vacation, likely referencing WWI-era anxiety. His wife's sarcastic comment mocks his paranoia—he's supposedly relaxing but remains fixated on military threats, unable to enjoy leisure time. **Text Sections**: "About Vacations" discusses vacation philosophy and avoiding summer crowds. "The Unexpected" quotes Lee Shippey on how the unexpected always occurs despite careful planning. **Bottom Illustration**: "A Large Order" depicts a portrait painter's interaction with a vain client demanding both flattery and accuracy—satirizing vanity and unrealistic expectations. The page emphasizes leisure, relaxation anxieties, and social pretension as recurring themes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ABOUT VACATIONS Se: SR BROS “His wife (acidly)—We'll be going now, Bertram, you've been looking for U-boats long enough! Avoiding the Rush F Mr. Edison ever took a vacation he would doubtless “Why do you have this sign ‘ Walk in’ on your door?” asked iversal vacation machine. spend it in inventing a uni A vacation i: Emperor William will spend his vacation trap-shooting Doves of Peace. time for meditation between two rent-days. out hi the summer visitor of the young physician who had lately hung is shingle in the village. “That,” said the doctor, “is so that people who come on the run will not rush in and upset the nerves of patients who are The. poor just “knock off,” the middle classes “take a — ahead of them.” vacation,” while the smart set ‘“summers.’” To enjoy your vacation take your business with you; it will prevent the time from hanging heavy on your hands. Constantine, late of Greece, will spend his vacation writing a book on “The Deportment of Retirement.” If you go to the mountains, observe the scenery; if to the ocean, observe the water—these are often overlooked. Don’t rush to the edge of the boardwalk every time the cry of “submarine!” is raised; it may only be a fat pacifist beyond his depth. —Benjamin De Casseres. THE UNEXPECTED OTWITHSTANDING the fact that insurance mag- nates and bookmakers become plethoric by laying their odds in accordance with carefully calculated “tables of expectations,” too many people habitually remark, when opportunity presents, that the unexpected always happens. Without attempting to think for themselves, they accepted the ancient lie from their ancestors as an eternal truth and are passing it on unshattered to their descendants. Yet nobody, except O. Henry’s characters ever had a right to say the unexpected always happens. It happens frequently, but not frequently enough, in many cases. When anything surprising occurs, for instance, we expect someone to remark that the unexpected always happens. And then the expected nearly always happens. —Lee Shippey. “Understand, if I let you paint wy portrait, I not only eapect a pretty picture, but also, young man, take care that it looks like mel”