Judge, 1917-08-25 · page 7 of 28
Judge — August 25, 1917 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Status Quo Ante"** critiques post-WWI peace advocates who proposed returning Europe to pre-war conditions. The essay sarcastically details the impossibility: resurrecting six million dead soldiers, restoring amputees and the blind, rebuilding destroyed homes and cities, and—most pointedly—reinstalling the Czar and Kaiser as leaders. The satire targets the naïveté of those seeking simple restoration after catastrophic war. **The cartoon dialogue** between Jessica and Janice appears unrelated—a social comedy about romantic disappointment versus dental work, establishing a lighthearted contrast on the page. **"Clarified Utterly"** is a word-play joke: a lecturer on physical endurance makes a pun about "standing"—both literal (posture) and figurative (reputation/resolve)—creating absurdist humor through deliberate misinterpretation. The page juxtaposes serious post-WWI political commentary with trivial domestic humor and wordplay.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE CALL FROM AFAR y THE STATUS QUO ANTE Analogous MassY high-minded and noble-purposed people are rec- Jessica—Oh, you needn't pretend you can sympathize. ommending that the best solution of the war problem What do you know about being in love with the wrong man? is to return to the status quo ante bellum. But while they are Janice—Well, 1 am having two nerves killed and a tooth perfectly clear on the desirability of such an outcome, it is crowned. doubtful if they realize all the difficulties. To return to the status quo ante would require the bringing to life of something like six millions of men just as a starter. To other millions we would have to return missing limbs, missing eyes and other neces- sary concomitants of physical per- fection. It would require the restoring of broken homes, the returning of husbands to bereaved widows, of fathers to orphaned children. It would require the rebuilding of countless devastated treasures and raising from the sea precious cargoes of men and the products of men which have been sent ruthlessly to the bottom. It would require putting the Czar back on the throne, rekindling an admiration for the Kaiser as a great peace advocate and the general rehabilitation of the autocratic idea. It would require correcting all the economic maladjustments which the tremendous expenditures for war purposes made.—E.0. J. a CLARIFIED UTTERLY “QEDENTARY work,” said the lecturer on physical torture, “tends to lessen the endurance.” “In other words,” butted in the smart aleck, “the more one sits the less one can stand.”” “Exactly,” retorted the lecturer, “and if one lies a great deal one’s standing is lost completely.”—Strickland Gillilan.