Judge, 1917-07-14 · page 11 of 27
Judge — July 14, 1917 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Priscilla's Advice"** (poem by Clinton Scollard): A writer complains about rising costs of living to his girlfriend Priscilla, who jokes he should abandon poetry and "be a banker" to earn real money. The satire mocks both the writer's financial struggles and perhaps the era's materialism—suggesting that practical wealth-seeking trumps artistic pursuits. **"Be a Fool"** (essay): A philosophical piece arguing that fools are happiest because they ignore social conventions, committees, and moral lecturers. It's ironic social commentary—suggesting that rejecting society's rules and expectations leads to contentment. **The cartoon** (top): Soldiers at camp doing laundry, with one praising a laundry service for not damaging his clothes—a humorous domestic complaint even in military settings. **Bottom cartoons** involve dated jokes about infidelity ("grass-widow") and a female employee who's been eating dandelion greens, causing her to chew like a cow—crude humor about workplace propriety and women's behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PRISCILLA'’S ADVICE By CLINTON SCOLLARD -DAY Priscilla to me said, When I complained of prices, And how I'd nearly lost my head Through manifold di = To meet the costs that climb and climb, And somehow do not anchor, “Why don’t you give up writing rhyme, And go and be a banker?” “Just think, just think,” Priscilla smiled, (Priscilla’s smile is sunny As that of any winsome child) “We'd have such lots of money! And ribbons I could buy and rings; There'd be no care to canker; Why don’t you give up writing ‘things, And go and be a banker?” Priscilla’s fair, Priscilla’s fond; Some call Priscilla clever; So why explain? ’Twould be beyond My uttermost endeavor! Her scheme has.features that entice; Perhaps I'd better thank her, And take her excellent advice, And go and be a banker! Blessed is he whose interest in the high cost of living is purely academic. “Say, old chap, this is the only laundry I ever patronized that didn’t play the mischief with my linen!” BE A FOOL HY not? A fool, as everyone knows, is ual on earth. the happiest: indiv pleas what he pleases, , eats what he pleases, reads listens to what he , and scorns those whom he dis- He is bound by no precedents. Regulating committees, efficiency ness hours. your infraction of our rules. A Teatotal Loss perts, temperance lecturers, social went overboard at the Boston Tea Party. surveys, health cures, new cults, pros Mr. Clubb—Yes, and a lot of other and antis interest him not. He sel- reputations have gone overboard at dom thinks. In this respect he is tea parties since. more sensible than his less foolish brothers. He talks when he wishes to talk and talks with enjoyment because he talks without thinking and therefore without effort. He rushes in where angels fear to tread, and he gets the best of everything. His vices are condoned and his virtues are exalted. Why not be a fool? The Bovine Habit Boss—I supposed you un- derstood there is to be no chewing of gum during busi- GS “ What makes you think that Jones's bride is a grass-widow ?”” “Well, he told me himself that she was a peach o'Reno!” comicbooks.com I dislike to call attention to Girl—I never chew gum. You see, for He _ the past month we have been living on does what he pleases, goes where he dandelion greens, and, well—I—I just naturally got to ruminate, that’s all. Mrs. Clubb—This article says that the ex- reputation of the colonists for obedience