Judge — July 7, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IGE evIETY I July 7, 1917 Mustard the weeromacnee os + Passing md Dolly’s Retort—“I won't wash my face!” said Dolly, defiantly. nf “Naughty, naughty!” reproved grandmother. “When I was a little irl I always washed my face.” — “Yes, and now look at it! —Tit-Bits. a A Grudge—“ Jack, I do believe that was a bad shilling you put in the collection plate for the heathen.” “Quite true. I owe the heathen a grudge for eating a missionary uncle of mine.” —Answers. A Conundrum—She—You're a military man. Do tell me one thing. He—Gladly, if I can. She—What is the difference between a parrot gun and a repeating rifle? —Baltimore American. said a small boy, addressing the family er, ‘mother sent me for a quarter’s worth of potatoe I'm sorry, young man,” replied the grocer kindly, “but you'll have to run home and tell your mother that we don’t cut ’em.”’—Boston Transcript. Potatoes—* Please, si Unscrupulous—*Some unscrupulous person walked off with my umbrella when we came out from the club reception “Then whose umbrel! s it that you brought home?” “How should I know?"—Baltimore American One to Another—*He says I am the only girl he has ever loved.” “I'd beware of him.” “TL think it dangerous to tie up for life with a man who takes the first thing that comes along.”—Detroit Free Press. How much are eggs? "—Buffalo Express. Caution—Cuutious consumer Grasping grocer—How much have you got? Growing Obliging—‘ Did you ask Miss Brown to sing?” “Yes and she refused ; ; “Good. She seems to be getting more obliging every day.” —Detroit Free Press. Wouldn’t Do— The man I recommend you is a person of unflagging industry.” “He won't do. We want somebody to stop trains.” —Bultimore American. Kept Her Dignity—First neighbor—An’ wot did you s’y? Second ditto—I kep* me dignity, Mrs. ‘Artis. ‘Pig’ I sez, an’ swept out. Punch. Mary’s Bond Mary had a little bond, She bought it for a dollar; And when she clips the coupons off It makes the Kaiser holler. —Chicago Tribune Useful—Knicker—W Bocker—Well, I can keep out of the way of people who c2 ew York Sun. can you do to serve the country? n do something. Excusable Pride—* You seem pretty proud since you gave the 25 cents to the patriotic fund.” “Yassuh,” repli I jes’ done my two bi E “Talk about doin’ yoh bit! Washington Star. Limited Talent—She—I want you to attend my next musical evening. You play something, don’t you? He—Only the stock market.—The Lamb. Just His Tint—Doctor—Is the pretty patient just brought in light- headed? Nurse—Yes, doctor, and exactly the blonde tint you like.-—Bultimore Imerican. A Qualification—‘ Bliggins is one of those men who want to get ahead of everybody else.” “Sh I don’t know. He hasn't enlisted yet.”"—-lVas#ington Star. Keep Fit—for Your Country In this world c: itis your duty, above everything else, to keep yourself in good condition. You can’t serve your country in any capacity if you allow your health to run down. The Nujol treatment will make you a national asset— not a liability. Take a little Nujol upon ig and retiring and it will remove waste matters and poisons (intestinal toxins) from your system, and keep your habits regular as clock work, Nujol is not habit forming. (The longer you take it, the less you need it) No griping, straining, upset stomach or weakening. Nujol is absolutely pure and harmless, and is pleasant to take. Even the infant will enjoy it, and it will do as much for him as it does for his mother. Nujol is sold in pint bottles only, bearing Nujol trademark, never in bulk. Nujol is absolutely distinctive and individual. There is no other product on the market like it. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey Nujol the Internal Cleanser