Judge, 1917-06-02 · page 9 of 28
Judge — June 2, 1917 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical article mocks commercial product marketing that invokes royal imagery, seen as anti-democratic propaganda. The author argues that American companies—through brands like "Monarch" shirts, "Royal Garters," "Imperial Vinegar," and "Majestic Chewing Gum"—are subtly indoctrinating citizens to accept aristocracy, undermining American democratic values. The top illustrations appear to show various scenarios of this "monarchist" corruption: citizens adopting royal affectations, a ladder (possibly representing social climbing), and domestic scenes of submission to these commercial influences. The bottom cartoon is unrelated political humor about a patient being used as a doormat, commenting on tolerance versus exploitation. The satire's point: commercial branding exploits patriotic language ("Democracy Soap," "Liberty Pajamas") while simultaneously promoting monarchical values—a hypocritical contradiction at odds with American egalitarianism. The piece uses exaggeration to critique what it views as dangerous cultural messaging embedded in everyday consumer products.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Mix thoroughly, sprinkle well with adjectives, and serve in a four-hundred-page novel. MERICA is supposed to be the y A most democratic nation on earth; | but signs of quite an opposite { character appear. One of these signs, )_ 3 for example, reads: “Insist on getting a Monarch”’—and it’ shows the picture of a citizen examining the label of a shirt That is what it plainly says. But shall we freemen supinely subject our backs to a monarch? Shall we, with our eyes ob- scured by the flimsiest idle tail, hold up our hands in help lessness while one slips upon us? And there are other utterances of the same tenor, in fact a most execrable tenor. Citizens are bidden to shackle their limbs with Royal Garters, and bind their feet with Regal Shoe- Strings, and endure upon their necks the galling yoke of rough ironed collars from the Palace Laundry. This menace did not break out all at once. It began with a gradual propaganda to instil in our minds the poison of anti- equality. We were craftily called upon to revere Peerless Pickles and Nonpareil Face and Roach Powder. Commencing in this seemingly innocent manner, the monarchists have worke up to a point where they now tell us to. permeate our inner natures with Imperial Vinegar and, like sycophants, keep ever upon our tongues Majestic Chewing Gum. Somebody will have to propose a law making this a crime. (It is so much more interesting to propose laws than to obey them.) While thrones are tottering in Europe, kings must be ROYALTY’S RUSE | By LAWTON MACK ALL made to realize that America will afford them no asylum other than Matteawan. Let them read the writing on the wall, which : “For all men Liberty Pajamas Yes, down with royal Up, up to conspicuous places on the roofs, with titles “Commonwealth Toothbrush,” olidarity Union Suit,” “ Forever Tyrannis, the Never- title such as “Democracy Soap, Toleration Toilet Water, Free Collar Button,” and “Sic § Fail Corn Cure.” Cneaeny The patient one—Say! 1 don’t mind you using me for a doormat, but I'm no shock absorber !