Judge, 1917-06-02 · page 8 of 28
Judge — June 2, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This domestic humor piece satirizes marital power dynamics. A husband exhaustively argues for a mountain vacation—citing economic sense, health benefits, privacy, and recreational opportunities—while his wife simply prefers the seashore. Despite his elaborate reasoning, they compromise by going to the seashore, the wife's choice. The satire's point: wives always win domestic arguments regardless of logic. The "moral" states that in spousal disputes, "the best a man can get is the worst of it"—suggesting husbands inevitably lose. The page also contains unrelated brief jokes about June weddings and a "Pro-German" exchange about military enlistment, likely referencing WWI-era concerns (the magazine's publication date remains unclear from this image alone). The decorative header illustration depicts fantastical figures, possibly representing compromise or conflicting desires visually.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Coanvann mannan He said, moreover, that he did NCE upon a time a maa ff — ; O and his wife disagreed as to | THE ETERNAL COMPROMISE not care for the seashore and where they should go for | the summer. The man favored the moun- id they could afford that better; that it was much $ and that business had id that they hadn't the LYON tains. Hes more economical than the se: been bad for him that season. He clothes to go parading on a boardwalk before the eyes of millionaires and discriminating bank clerks; that the salt air was not good for his throat, and that the doctor had recom- mended the mountain air for him—a high, dry altitude, and all that sort of thing. . He said he did not propose to go to the seashore, where they would have to change their clothes and jewels every half hour; that he was going away for a rest and not to be a holy show for every boardwalk and porch idler who happened to have the price of a week’s board. He said that there was fishing and hunting in the mountains, and good company, and that a pretty fair nine-hole course was nearby; that he knew a place where good pinochle players congregated, and where you were entitled to commit mayhem—by law—on the person of a partner who trumped your ace. He said that he never got a rest at the seashore—he could not sleep in the daytime, and at night the murmur of the infernally sad sea waves kept him awake; that he hated salt water, and could not swim, anyw that he always had a cold when he was there. He said that the glitter of the dowagers’ diamonds in the dining-room hurt and dazzled his eyes; that the chatter of the squabs was almost intolerable to him, and that these things were not so in the mountains, somehow, arid if they were, one could always go off on a tramp, alone, into the solitary fastness and feast at the bounteous board of that well and favorably known Mother Nature, popularized by Walt Whitman and Gene Stratton Porter. He said that he was afraid of sharks, and the ocean was too green and out-of-drawing, anyway, and not like the polite drawing-room oceans he was accustomed to at art ex- hibitions; that his shoes were always full of sand and he was sick of always having a crease in his trousers and his pocket book. that he did like the mountains. and that they were going to the mountains for the summer. His wife remarked simply that she preferred to go to the MEARSON seashore. So they compromised by going to the seashore. Moral: In an argument with his wife the be get is the worst of it aman can The Marry Month of June Her—Why do you suppose so many gitls set their weddings for Jun Hini—Yes, why pick on June? Pro-German Mrs. Flynt E. Biskett—I wa I'll enlist as a cook. F. E. B.—Sh-h! Hush, my dear. They're arresting people for making threats against the army. nt to join the army. I think ry the chap with the large income ? Jock—The large income with the chap, would be more correct. comicbooks.com XUM