Judge — June 2, 1917 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hints for Campers OU always find that the pretty girl in the next camp is engaged, and her intended is sure to have come along with the bunch. Never select the site to pitch the tent, because it always turns out to be the wrong ‘location and everybody puts the blame on you. When the rest of the party don’t com- plain of your cooking you may be sure that they are very polite or else you are a natural-born chef. After the first rainstorm you realize that a waterproof tent means about as much as painless dentistry, tasteless codliver oil, unbreakable umbrella, non-sinkable boat and other pleasant fictions. If you are camping out with your wife, don’t peg down the tent: permanently until you know for sure next day that she doesn’t want it moved to another place. If you haven’t brought your stores with you and depend on the old farmer for your provisions, you will find your money run out long before your holiday is over. When the tent has blown down and you have at last got it up again, don’t console yourself with the thought that it might have been worse until you make sure that the kerosene hasn’t run over the coffee, the salt mixed itself with the sugar and the frying-pan got spiked when it hit and broke the can-opener. There are always plenty of things for the camper to do, and he never finds time to keep the diary, write the letters and read the books he promised himself to do. J.J. O'Connell. Tip to the Marines F I were sailing across the sea An sub,” with fiendish, Germanic glee Should sink my gallant boat, The life preservers I'd scorn, by cripes, And wrap myself in the Stars and Stripes, Which will forever float! —Lee Shippey. “Tips” N’T) marry your them! Some people love the opera, and some sleep better at home. The difference between a liability and an asset is your wife and the other fellow Love makes a young girl old and an old girl young. Is it the elasticity of youth that makes some children so snappy? Rare perfection is bluff more than well done. The gratitude of most people is but a secret desire to receive future benefits. Some blessings are so disguised that even un- masked we fail to recognize them. Some and some are joke. A girl might’ make a date with a man for whom she wouldn't give a fig. It’s rarely the man who is long winded who has a breezy manner. We are not so anxious to speed the parting guest when she is dressed in the mantle of prosperity. To live without love is to have died young. Hope is the reflection cour- age sees in the mirror of failure. Most girls can talk volumes without sitting ina library. When a woman has _ lost her figure she has generally gained it. The man who over-indulges in an artistic bent usually gets broke. In the school called Life, the Dreamer is the Dunce. —Violet M. Le Roy. friends; keep people are witty merely & M*s* are getting reputations from the Great War. Will these keep the reputations or make the reputations keep them? Late and Dull “Since your son returned from college I suppose he gets up bright and carly every morning?” “He doesn’t do either.” Many People Many people think they are terribly abused when they are merely getting what is coming to them. Newcomer (suddenly awakened) —W-what was that ? Old hand—An eight-inch shell. . “Thank goodness! I was dreaming | was home tryin to fire the cook.” comicbooks.com