Judge, 1917-06-02 · page 11 of 28
Judge — June 2, 1917 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon ("Ambiguous"):** A WWI-era joke playing on dual motivations for military enlistment. A young soldier claims he enlisted because he's married; an older soldier responds he enlisted *because* he's married—suggesting marriage is either an inspiration for patriotic duty or an escape from domestic life. The humor exploits the ambiguity of the phrase. **"The Substitute" Poem:** A parody of Tennyson's romantic poem "Maud," reimagined as domestic comedy. A husband, left alone in the kitchen after the cook quits, desperately pleads with his wife ("Maud") to return and cook. The poem mocks both the original's flowery romanticism and the helplessness of men facing housework—a common satirical trope of the era. **Bottom Cartoon:** A skeptical father dismisses a car salesman's claim of 32 miles-per-gallon fuel efficiency, sarcastically suggesting the car must have coasted down an impossibly long hill. This mocks exaggerated automotive advertising claims.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Ty) A The youngster—I'm going to get married because I've The Substitute After Alfred Tennyson By BURGES JOUNSON OME into the kitchen, Maud, For our bad black cook has flown. Come into the kitchen, Maud. I am here at the range alone. And the smell of burnt bacon is wafted abroad, And the smoke in my eyes has blown. There has fallen a storage egg From my hand to the waiting plate. Oh. it from me, I beg, out of a last r’s crate. ‘The toast seems to say “Don’t drop it here”— The coffce-pot moans, ig “Te’s fate! The saucepan shrinks from my hand in fear, And the puffed oats mutter “We wait.” Are you coming, my own, my sweet? Oh come and be cook instead! Pray hasten your laggard feet— hy, why did you linger in bed? These eggs are not fit to beat, They were lain in a century dead. If you count upon me to fix something to eat We'll feast upon prunes and bread. WL. MBIGUOUS enlisted. The senior—Yes? Well, I've enlisted because I'm married! Son— Father, that salesman says he traveled 32 miles ‘on one gallon of gas with that car. Mr. Jones. — Then the hill he was coasting down must have been at least 25 miles long.