Judge — May 19, 1917 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MILLENNIUM WALT: MASONS their life's desire; they'll seek the polls and get the goat of candidates they don’t admire. I know some ardent suffrag ! and then; “ This life will be the bes | we can vote like men trodden by the tyrant heel, but when we vote we tears, and laugh and raise a joyous spiel.” They all imagine, bless their hearts, that voting is a sov- ereign salve, for all the worries and the smarts, and all the woes that mortals have. Yet I have found that voting brings but little solace to my soul; it doesn’t cure life’s wounds and stings, or add some green- backs to my roll. Man hears his wife and fourteen kids de- manding things he cannot buy; they’re wanting shoes and gowns and lids, and fifty-seven brands of pie. Collectors bone him on the street for money that he cannot pay; he’s saddened, and he’s sure to meet fresh tribulations every da; L never heard a fellow yet lift up his voice with joyful note, y, Why should I weep and fret? Am I not privileged to Th DAY’S at hand when girls will vote, and thus achieve alk me silly now they say, “when reers, we're I dry our Jong election have triumph in their souls, they surely never look Their brows are dark with shades of woe, and many would not vote at all, but that the campaign workers go and g them forth from hut and hall. I vote myself, when some cheap skate deserves a big, pronounced defeat, and aly that candidate soar into office and repeat. Thus voting always seems to me a duty sad, and not a joy; for all the pleasure that I see, I'd trade the boon for some cheap toy. And so I warn the gladsome maids, who for the ballot work away, and talk men blind, and hold parades, that voting will not make them gay. It won't alleviate a care, or shoo a trouble from the place, or brighten eyes or grow ‘new hair, or drive a wrinkle from the fac When girls have voted once or twice, enjoyed the triumph they'll have won, they'll doubtless say, ‘This will suffice! This is the cheapest kind of fun!” does Joshua made the sun stand still—and thanked his lucky stars it wasn't the daughter. ABUNDANT ADVICE VCE there was a man who loved his fellow c s lighted in trying to please everybody. Fecling in need of a new house he started to build one, and at the same time invited the advice and opinions of his many friends and neighbors. Before the foundation was completed he learned, not only that it was too long and too short, too wide and too narrow, and of improper material to carry a satisfactory superstructure, but that the only kind of a house that a man with any brains would think of erecting ‘vould be one of stone and brick and frame and stucco and fieidi boulders and sandstone and cement blocks and old fashioned logs chinked with mortar, with a slate roof and one of red tiles and steel plates and asbestos and tar with pebbles in it, which would face north, south, east and west, and have porches on all sides and be without any porches at all. Disliking to hurt the feelings of any one, our poor friend pro- ceeded no farther with his house. He is now living in a cave, where he probably will not be compelled to reside much longer, as he is already picking nonexistent insects out of the atmos- phere om P. Morga Indescribable I' anyone should ask me my opinion of a fly, I fear he'd get no answer and this is the reason why A fly is such a confoundedly mischievous, pestiferous, cantanker- s, obstreperous, carnivorous little beast, Mere words cannot define it nor describe it in the least! —Lurana Sheldon. The Iridescent Dream Reformer—Vhings will be different when we have taken graft out of politics. Machine politician—They certainly sill, Then the office will have to seek the man. “What's that girl's name? I didn’t catch it when we were introduced.” “I'm not surprised you didn’t catch it. It's Swift. comichooksfom