Judge — May 12, 1917 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Athlete’s First Principle Is To Keep His System Clean He doesn’t allow food to ferment in his intestines. He doesn’t give his body a chance to absorb poisons. He knows—and your doctor will tell you— that anything from a headache to the most serious illness may result from such absorption. Nujol removes poisons from the system, and gives the tissues of the body a chance to build up and resist disease. Nujol is not habit-forming. Nujol does not gripe. It relieves you of straining, does not weaken nor upset the stomach, is absolutely pure and harmless, and is delightful to take. It is especially fine for young mothers, as it is not absorbed into the system, and therefore in no way affects the child. Nujol is the only remedy for constipation we manufacture; the genuine is sold only in pint bottles, bearing Nujol trade-mark. All bottles are filled at our absolutely modern and sanitary Nujol plant. The Standard Oil Company (New Jersey) has used all its world-wide resources in peodecing Nujol, and its reputation is behind the product. Nujol is absolutely distinctive and individual. There is no other product on the market like it. Write todayto Dept. 18 on coupon and margin be low for instructive booklet on Nujol and its uses. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey Re, treatment of constipation Viease send une booklet ono Wits your name ‘and “address plainly below rt State JUDG Stories with Smiles He Understood—The pale-iaced passenger looked out of the car. window with exceeding interes Finally he turned to his seat-mate. “You likely think I never rode in the cars before,” he said, “but the fact is, pardner, I just got out of prison this mornin’, and it does me good to look around. It is goin’ to be mighty tough, tho, facin’ my old-time friends. I s'pose, tho, you ain't got much idea how a man feels in a case like that.” “Perhaps I have a better idea of your feelings than you think,” said the other gentleman, with a sad smile. “I am just getting home from Congress.” —Argonaut, Awful Serious—*I hear your mamma is sick,”’ said a neighbor to small Margie. “Has she got anything serious?” s,ma’am,” answered Margie. ‘She's got a doctor, that is awful Kansas City Star. The Worst—* The worst of all isms,” said the lecturer, “is pugilism.” “Pardon me, my friend,”’ rejoined a man who had just entered the hall on crutches, “but I know a worse one than that.” “What is it, sir?” queried the lecturer. “Rheumatism,” answered the other.—Globe. Sounded Suspicious—* Young man,” said the country counselor to the reporter of a Southern paper, “you have done me irreparable harm.” “What have I done?” asked the bewildered reporter. “T got in largely on a temperance platform, as you may recollect.” “Yes, sir.” “And you speak of me in this morning's paper as ‘drinking my coffee with gusto.’ It will take me more than a lifetime to get it out of the heads of my constituents that gusto isn’t some kind of alcoholic beverage.”— Philadelphia Ledger. Impossible—* Now, look pleasant and natural,” urged the photo- grapher. “Can't be done,” murmured the sitter’s wife, who accompanied him. “Tf he looked pleasant he wouldn't look natural." —Louisville Courier-Journal. Tact—‘1 told the cook the first dinner she cooked would be given in her honor.” “Good enough. Maybe she'll stay a week if you tell her she’s at a house party.”"—Pittsburgh Post. Because—Jessie—You seem to like his attentions. Why don't you marry him? Jennie—Because I like his attentions.—Minnea polis Tribune, On the Job—*That's a resourceful barber.” he saw I didn’t know anything about pugilism he tried me on metaphysics."°—AKansas City Journal. Edging Close to the Truth—A farmer who understood the human nature said: “If you want your boy to stay at home don’t bear too hard on the grindstone when he turns the crank.""—Christian Herald. Richly Endowed" Dear me,” she wailed, “I'm getting a double chin.” Hubby tried to-console her “Your chin is so pr id he, “that you shouldn't kick because gratified Mother Nature is giving you another one.”"—Kansas City Journal. Get Careless—**A man who never made a mistake never made any- thing,” said the Wise One. “Yes,” agreed the Boob. “But a lot of chaps who believe in that get careless and never make anything but mistakes.”’—Buffalo Express. Couldn’t Go—* You say you are not going to the family reunion?” “What would I wear?” “Wear the clothes you have on.” “Not toa family reunion. This dress I borrowed from Aunt Matilda, and this coat belongs to Sister Jane.—Kansas City Journal. Gloomy Experience—"Ii war comes will you contribute your auto- mobile?” | “T will if my country wants it,” replied Mr. Chuggins. “But ifsthey | want me to help cover any ground with accuracy and reliability, they'd better let me go myself and leave the automobile in the repair shop.” —Washington Star.