Judge — April 14, 1917 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

By LOU “ HERE'S everybody? Where’s Minnie? Where's the kids?” inquired Henry Shapiro upon entering the home of Max Markowitz, his boss and brother-in- law, and finding the skirt manufacturer half asleep on a couch in the pinocle-library. “Where's Minnie? Where’s the kids?” repeated Mark witz mockingly, as he assumed a sitting posture and rubbed his eyes sleepily. “Henry, like I told you already more than a thousand times, you can ask more foolish questions in one minute than what the whole Supreme Court from the United States can answer in a season. Why don’t you ask that old question, what even a baby with a bottle knows—‘ Where was Moses when the lights went out and V’ll give you the same answer, with an improvement—‘In the dark, by the Movies.” I myself didn’t care to go, because we auctioned last night till three o'clock, and I feel so sleepy this afternoon like an actor in the morning. So I let Minnie and Lester and Florence go by themselves.” “And I tell you, Henry,” continued Markowitz after pausing to light one of his favorite Habanoras, “the Movies ain't no special r-mber, a luxury like champanier or finger- come so necessary for life like bread and more a bowls; they have i water and skoits- “And pinocle “You laugh like to see my kids money for the mov than the little fellers. Look, before the mo’ supper used to pick up a paper for a while, then schmuess, a talk about high-priced hats or low 1 Henry, smiling. rimed ~Markow earnestly. “I'd let me live a minute if I didn’t give them The big kids, too, want them woister And for why not? It’s good for them. ies commenced, married couples after ick up a little e bosses, and MARKOWITZ AND HENRY DISCUSS THE MOVIES RAB by the end they would pick up an argument what would finish oder in broken crockery or in broken language, depending upon their nationality. What better could they do in the long nights? But since the picktches commenced, couples are mov- ing to the movies, prompt like they got a dispossess notice, right after finishing the dishes. Yes, the movies made a regela revolution in the life from people. Children what used to know notting but loaf and play, day and night, now——” “Sure!” broke in Henry sarcastically. “Children what used to know notting but healthy play, now know notting but photoplay. And kids now know more about what they oughtn’t to know than what grandfathers wanted to know from Vampires to War-brides. The best time from a boy’s or a goil’s life, what should be spent in the big outside with nature—running and jumping and catching—they spend inside with picktches what shows life ten times woiser than what it really is. Married men with affini affinities with otomobiles; otomobiles with joy-riders; and joy-rides with married men.” “Henry,” maintained Markowitz, “you're speeching like a regela preacher. Just like that young Mr. Greenfield, what I met in the winter country and who’s a good pinocle player in private, and a grand speecher against it, when there’s more than four hands. But you make an elephant from a peanut. Alll the picktches aren’t like what you say—Vampires and V brides. Take Charlie Chaplin for a sample. When I see him 1 not only laugh myself but I enjoy myself extra when I hear the way all the kids are laughing music in my ears. I tell you boys wouldn’t have one per cent. the fun playing tag like they have from Charlie Chaplin and— “Charlie Chaplin!” interrupted Henry, satirically. Since