Judge, 1917-04-14 · page 15 of 28
Judge — April 14, 1917 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**The Cartoon (Top):** Depicts fashionably dressed people outside the University of Utah building. The caption jokes that "Billy says military training bores him" because "He's drilled so much"—a pun on military drilling versus the tedious repetition itself. **Big Town Gossip (Left Column):** A humor column by Arthur Chapman offering satirical observations about urban life. Topics include: businessmen rushing to lunch counters, regional preferences for silver vs. paper money, the suspicious fate of suburban mail, and commentary on congressional investigations being exercises in futility. The piece mocks the vanity of men who've reached middle age and gotten life insurance approval, and ridicules apartment landlords using decorative gold radiators while providing inadequate heat. **In Springtime (Right Column):** A melancholic poem by Carolyn Wells about lost youth—the speaker cannot recapture the joy of springtime from years past because the passage of time has dimmed those memories with tears and maturity. The page reflects early 20th-century urban American humor and nostalgic romanticism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Se XUM AT THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH Mildred—Billy says that military training bores him. Tessie—How was that? BIG TOWN GOSSIP Ry ARTUCR CHAPMAN of the pathetic sights of the Big ‘own is the way business men rush rant or lunch counter in getting something that is better cooked. It's lucky that some prejudices go according to geography. For instance, it might’ be wkward for our tre: ury department if the people of the West did not happen to like silver money, while the people of the st prefer to take their change in one-dollar bills. The average individual always has a sneaking suspicion that a letter which i dropped into a suburban mail box never goes out inside of two days anyway I don’t believe any man would deliber- ately bring up his boy to be a trap drum- mer in an orchestra. That is one of the callings which has to depend on casual recruits, to a new res the vain hope of Big Town statues may not be real art in a majority of cases, but the question s there that could be put in their places?” There is nothing quite approaching the pride of the man who has reached middle ge and has been accepted for more life insuranc When you find a man who says he believes a Congressional investigation will amount to anything you have run across the acme of human faith, not to credulity. It is difficult to understand why apartment house proprietors persist in using gilded radiators when red paint would convey a greater impression of the warmth that is not there. It is noticed that the copy readers who e the most admirably condensed heads are the ones who are apt to make the long-winded speeches at the news- paper men’s banquets. If judges were given business rating in accordance with the amount of alimony written on their court books, some of them would be in the millionaire ¢ Miidred—He's drilled so much. IN SPRINGTIME By CAROLYN WELLS CANNOT sing the old Springs I sang long years ago; ‘Their butterflies on glancing wings, Their daffodils a-row, Quick sunlight splashing through the sky. To chase the silvery rain, I cannot sing the old Springs, Nor chant those hours again. T cannot sing the April days, The rose dawn breaking sweet; The bending of the tender grass Beneath my dancing feet. Pale apple leaves against the blue, The glad breeze loved to toy T cannot sing those April days, They were too full of joy. I cannot sing the Maytimes, A rift is in the lute, Their glorious maze of bud and bloom, Is now the ripened fruit. The glamor of their sundawn smile, Is dimmed in mists of tears; T cannot sing the old Springs, Or echo those glad years. comicbooks.com