Judge, 1917-04-14 · page 14 of 28
Judge — April 14, 1917 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satirical content: **"The Ills of Age"** — A poem with accompanying caricature mocking aging men, particularly their financial stinginess ("tightening of the wallet strings"). The illustration shows an older man in checked clothing, likely depicting a miserly elderly figure. **"Tips to Triflers"** — Cynical advice to young unmarried men about courtship and marriage, satirizing both male hesitation and female mercenary motives. It treats marriage as an inescapable trap and women as manipulative—reflecting common early-20th-century satirical tropes about gender relations. **"The Wild Ones"** — A dialogue between professors debating whether geese divorce. This appears to be social commentary using animal behavior as metaphor, suggesting that respectable, homebody women remain faithful while "wild" women frequenting cabarets (speakeasies?) pursue divorce—likely referencing 1920s urban culture and changing gender roles. **"The Partisan"** (poem) — Advocates political tolerance despite disagreement. The page represents typical Judge magazine content: cynical observations on aging, gender relations, and modern social behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE ILLS OF AGE HAT flesh is heir to many ills Grows manifest as men get old. The surging blood slows up and chills. The passions and the feet grow cold. A hardening of each artery Takes place along with other things; And, worst of all, there's apt to be A tightening of the wallet strings. —IWalter G. Doty. “Ah, done ask Mr. Pewter fo’ his razor to car ial club soiree, an’ look what he done sent me.” Tips to Triflers 'OUNG MA if you think any girl who really wants to marry you will permit you to escape, you would better keep away from the seashore. Also from the mountains, the country, the prairie, the woods, the inland lake, the raging deep, and the face of the earth. You can't make love in the Summer, and shake love in the Autumn, save in one way: and it costs money to marry, not to mention the inconvenience. The weaker sex is strong, when it comes to the tie that throttles. Thrice wise is that young man who sees in the fairy form of a dainty divinity a Hurdle to be leaped instead of an Opportunity to be embraced. Let us, then, be up and sprinting, with a pace to beat our Fate. There is a question in the minds of some young unmarried gentlemen whether it is better to cut out all the fun or all the risk: “% oN) Mes married man will tell you which will be the more fun at the finish. Not that the Altar ends ii We would rather see our only son mar- ried than immersed in boiling oil. A love-sick moon is a gorgeous and inspiring spectacle in comparison with the inane tragedies upon which it oft- times gazes. Women are the Idealists until after marriage. Be sure that when they say that they want to help you, they mean it: help you spend it. Do not accuse us of being cynical. We heartily and buoyantly believe that the ladies believe that we be- lieve that they believe over one- eighth of all that we tell them; so whose fault is it, anyhow? There is a funnier sight than a young man who thinks that he is proposing marriage: did you never see a fly congeatulate a spider? O, come now! If your mother hadn't caught your father, where would you be? A Toast, then, to the Ladies! A life without ladies, a life without lure, would be a life without living, or loving, or lying. or any other of the Delectable Excitements that make it worth while this life to endure!—Fred Ladd. The Wild Ones 66. WELL-KNOWN naturalist states that wild geese are never divorced, but that once mated they keep their vows for life,” remarked Professor Pate. ‘I am compelled to take: issue with the gentle- man. In my dabblings in sociology I have investi- gated our cabaret life with sufficient thoroughness to convince me that the greater portion of the geese who frequent those resorts are more or less wild, with a marked predilection to- ward divorce. On the other hand, I am_per- suaded that the plain, drab, tame little g who y at home most of the time, and consider a visit to the movies with their own husbands a real treat, seldom infest the divorce courts.” mete SOY a a S23'¢ THE PARTISAN By BERTON BRALEY VALUE tolerance and calm As wise and helpful qualities, And trust to be delivered from Great ire at trivialities, If people don't agree with me, I shouldn't rage and roar at them, To their opinions they are free And I should not be sore,at them. Yet while I want to keep my head And not get wrathful readily, But act with dignity instead And keep my temper steadily, I trust that I will never grow So cold and dull and sad about This world; so calm, with blood so slow, There’s nothing I'll get mad about. Lord, save me from all futile rage At little things that harry us, But do not let me grow, with Unmoved by ills nefarious, Let me not get a peevish mind About each silly, pennything, But never let be the kind That won't get mad at anything! Overheard “What is his profession?” Risky ford—Why shouldn't I go skat- use I’m near sighted? —You might go up to the sign to see what it said. CONVOYED comicbooks.com