Judge — January 27, 1917 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

time you mad at a preacher is that wh If you are mad at one goil weiber? If you're mad at “They're all the same! adie you get the same answer. and they will listen to you li dictionary Goldman!” broke in Markowitz impatiently. “Do ‘you think I don’t know why you became a woman hater all of a sudden? She sent you that note with the ‘no’ which means that she wouldn't excuse you for taking that lady buyer what I asked you to the ball, instead of her, even if she herself went with another feller—Harry Fishkind. But if she is mad with you is that why you should be mad with the woild?” “Do you think Lam mad on account of her? Oser!” denied Henry. “I'm only sore why she’s mad at me when she done the same thing, and went with an- other feller! Ain’t_ men’s right’s the same like women’s rights? The women want equal rights, don’t th Nu—” “Sure, you're right!” agreed Markowitz, “‘but——” Here Markowitz inter- rupted by Henry’s going over to the telephone to answer a call. “M. mumbled Henry, his face changed to a. deathly white, “it ain’t for me—it’s for you—a young lady—Sadie Gold- man— Hello!” cried Markowitz, ONE-REEL FEATURE they,” mimicked Markowit y? when you mean ‘she interrupted Henry with a gesture of disgust. “Talk to them and talk to a talking machine and plain from to-day till to-morrow you was a book-agent! one woid and they'll answer you a dictionary; write them a and they will answer you one woid—‘ no’—they “Again you holler ‘they’ when you mean ‘she -“THE VILLAGE SCANDAL" “All the Because you're uu shouldn’t go to choich? that why you should hate all grabbing the receiver out of the trembling Henry’s hand. “This is Max Markowitz. Yes, ic and me will be home to-morrow night. Sure, come up, Goldman. Good-b: “Do you want to play some pinocle to-morrow night— like you said,” smilingly asked Henry after a few minutes’ silenc “No, not pinocle, h winking at his brother-in-law, -maybe,” laughed Markowitz, as he retreated to the showroom. His Deduction “Most of my fourteen children have got the measles, but they ’pear to have ‘em mighty light,” stated Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “T reckon there wasn’t measles enough to go ’round.” Going Some Madge—I wonder what makes her such a prude. Marjorie—Goodness knows. One doesn’t need to be a prude these days in order to be shocked Why a Million? DOESN'T take a million To make the world scem gay. It doesn’t take a million To drive dull care away. It doesn’t take a million To make an optim To meet the cost of Ii At every upward t = Tt doesn’t take a million, You really must confess, ‘To make you quite contented And bring you happiness. It doesn’t take a million To cure your case of blues, To buy the meat and groceries, Your neckties and your shoes. It doesn’t take a million To drive all troubles hence And make your life seem easy Regardless of expense. No, indeed. If a person is not too particular, he can get along quite Collector—Will you not please help the Belgians? Ma Laprop--Why. comfortably if he has only 1 am helping them, dear. I've just ordered some Brussels sprouts. $099,990.99.—Roy K. Moulton. comicbooks.com