Judge — January 27, 1917 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

By 66LJENRY, why don’t you come up my house some night and play a little pinocle?” sympathetically suggested Max Markowitz, the skirt manufacturer, in order to brighten the spirits of Henry Shapiro, his bookkeeper and brother-in-law, who had been gloomy and morose all week Linnie said to me, a fine brother she got, never comes up to see her since he got a goil on his mind. You treat }\ your sister in New York just like she was in 4 Alaska. Come up, Henry, and we'll play a penny game or any limit you say!” anks, thanks, Mr. Markowitz,” re- plied Henry bitterly. “‘Foist you put me in trouble and then you try to press it out with a four hundred hand! What a fine diplomat you are! If President Wilson sent you for a minister to Mexico, I bet you would try to make peace there with a poker or with double spades. Max, I ain’t got time for such nonsense when you put me in such a hole that I can’t pull myself out with even six-cylinder excuses and ten-horse- power explanations.” “Forget it, forget it!” repeated Markowitz talking like she was the only goil in the woild! “You're Henry, do you know that we, ourselves, manufactured more than thoity thousand skoits? And we don’t make them all, even if we are the biggest in New York. So——" - “Yes, yes, by you they are all the same!” argued Henry en if I had no troubles on my mind excepting money, I wouldn’t waste a second-handed minute on auc I'll tell you what I'll do, Max; I'll write again, explaining everything from top to bottom, and if she don’t let me come to see her, then it’s good-bye; yes, good-bye for good!” “Do w you lik growled Markowitz. ‘Your ex- planation letters will get you so far like a dollar on Broad- way. But I don’t care, do what you want, even if you are my brother-in-law; I know it will help like last year’s snow,” and Markowitz retreated into the fattory, after banging the door behind him. “Oi! Weiber, weiber!” moaned Henry Shapiro, two days afterward, holding a delicately scented pink note in his hands, and staring at it vacantly; “if there was no wei- ber, what a fine woild this would be! MARKOWITZ AND HENRY Discuss Women in General and One in Particular Lov RAB “Look, look, what's talking!” cried Markowitz with exulta- tion, walking over toward Henry and pointing a forefinger at him. ‘The end from the woild must be here! You--you what marched by the Suffrage parade between a goil with long braids and a woman with short hair—you—you when you was a greenhorn yet carried a big yellow banner bigger from your- self! What talked to me from morning to night about ‘Votes for Women,’ and now, now you say you wish there was no women, and that’s all! And——" “Enough, enough,” pleaded Henry. “What enough?” questioned Markowitz oratorically. “Do you remember how you jumped around from joy when you hoid a woman became a congressman? And how you came to the office glad like a boy with his foist pair of long pants when a woman got up in the air quicker and staid up longer than a man? Do you remember how you were joking that men will have to look up to women at last?) And now—now you're hollering on the other side of the ledger!” You're right, Max, you're right! I must give i said Henry gloomily, as he slowly tore the pink note into pieces; and then rising suddenly he angrily struck his desk, “They got brains like peanuts! They got hearts like irons! ) “Don’t you think someone might steal your car there?” — “I hope so. The insurance money would come in handy toward the new one I want” comicbooks.com