Judge, 1916-12-30 · page 5 of 29
Judge — December 30, 1916 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon:** A social scene showing a man asking a woman if a seat is reserved. This appears to be satirizing social etiquette and romantic courtship conventions of the era—likely mocking awkward social interactions at formal gatherings. **Left Column ("The Spirit of New Year's Loquitur"):** Ellis O. Jones personifies New Year's spirit offering reflective advice about self-examination and resolving to improve oneself—a common New Year's theme. The piece humorously acknowledges people rarely keep resolutions. **Right Column ("Some People You Have Known"):** A character sketch satirizing Mr. Faxen Figgers, a pedantic bore who fills conversations with useless historical trivia and obscure facts, expecting admiration for his memory. The satire targets conversational pretension and know-it-alls. **Bottom Cartoon:** Social commentary on bothersome neighbors constantly borrowing items.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Pardon me, but is this seat reserved ?" THE SPIRIT OF NEW YEAR'S LOQUITUR SOME PEOPLE YOU HAVE KNOV AM THE Spirit of New Year's, It is necessary that I R. FAXEN FIGGERS believes in) remembering all I ¢ my pilgrimage among mankind when there is very M the useless information that flits within the pale of little else doing. Hence I choose midwinter after the his master mind. Upon little or no provocation he crops are harvested and the granaries are filled and the fucl is can tell you how high the Mississippi got during the spring ’ cut and the mortgage is paid — freshet of ’84, what the popular vote in 1876 was, how many and the ground is frozen and — yards of carth were removed for the Hudson tubes, and how the days are short and the it happens that the international date line isn’t straight. nights are long. He knows all the unimportant details about all the important ’Tis then I counsel with men — events in history, and he treats everything he knows with ad- and try to make them stop and — mirable impartiality, Mr. Figgers has never got very far in think, but I must confess it is the world. He never will. His garret is crammed too full of always easier to make them — stuff that he expects to use some day. He has a most un- stop than to make them think. wholesome faith in facts. He can’t tell whether a thing “Tis then I bid them look amounts to one whoop or two whoops. He has no sense. carefullyaround themselves,and Faxen Figgers will probably live a long time for fear that about and without and within — he will miss the details of his own fune He will keep on themselves to sce what they have acccomplished and what they — dispensing dusty information and collecting more until he 1 souls and as- wears out or some of his victims commit justifiable homicide. have got, to take an inventory of their bodies ai H.W. Dee. sets and liabilities and virtues and vices and habits and impulses and aversions and aspirations and desires and everything that is az) theirs both tangible and intangible. "Tis then also that I bid them look ahead with an eye that has a keener vision because of the experience it has come through, plan their future, correct the mistakes that have marred their past, strengthen the weak places in their wills and adopt good resolutions, for though I know that but few of the resolutions will be kept, I believe it is better for good resolutions to be made and broken than never to be made at all. Icome but once a year, for I think there is lit- Ue to be gained and perhaps much to be lost by bothering men too frequently about matters of this kind. It has a tendency to make them dreamy and introspective and hypersensitiv So here I am for a brief stay, your humble Spirit of N Year's. Heed me well. If I can do anything for you, speak “Them new neighbors next door is awful shiftless.” “Indeed now or for a year after hold your peace.—Ellis O. Jones. “Yes'm. Every time I run in to borrow anything they ain't got comicbooks.com