Judge — December 30, 1916 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

E D New Year's Meditations EW YEAR'S is not so much a date on the calendar as a state of mind. “What, another year!” says the pes- simist. ‘Another? Worse’n the last, { suppose—if that were possible!” But the optimist says: ‘Welcome, little stranger—welcome to our city! Here’s looking at you! Cheer up—the worst is yet to come!” In that frame of mind, the time hon- ored ceremonics appropriate to New Year's eve undergo a mate leviation. The scene? Any popular hotel or restau- rant where you can find a minimum of room and a maximum of crowd and dis- comfort. The crowd? “Hail, gang’s all here!” The wiv not yours, anyhow—New Year's eve in the gay “‘metrolopus.”” The cats? Why, neither better nor worse than usual,— but who came here to eat? The cabaret? Rotten, of course—but at that, Methuselah was older. The man the next table? Oh, well, in vino veritas—maybe it won’t hurt him to tell the truth so long as he doesn’t get in the habit. The orchestra? Manglers of melody, as usual—murderers of music— still, there is the plea in mitigation, for does that music deserve to live? The man who insists on going home in the mere shank of the evening—not a minute after 2:30, old fellow, and hang me if it is that!—instead of making a night of it and seeing the old year out and the new year in? Why, yes, but maybe his heart’s in the right place. Maybe it’s his stomach. Then again, maybe it isn’t his dyspepsia. Maybe it is his discretion. For in a few years, now, this whole Bana sy country is going to be “dry.” Our fugacious friend who insists on beating it at 2.30 on New Year's morning, instead of sticking around for “just one more "— he isn’t fugacious, he is far-sighted. It isn’t philogamy—it’s philosophy. He figures that it is better to move up a round for the arid by-and-by than to lap it all up at a sitting. That’s the New Year’s spirit that gets somewhere! Why, it ought to last the year ‘round, to cheer and transmogrify the every-day things —to make our hus- lt bands endurable and | our divorces better worth marrying for. MES look for lead- ers and, find- ing them, look up to Leaders a We Conmnee- JANUARY SECOND-—THE CAT CAME BACK them. When they cannot find worthy leaders they ask the incompetent to lead them. The incompetent, alas, always accept! Sometimes an accident of birth forces leaders upon them. Such leaders are nearly always incompetent, yet men allow them sto be led. This accounts both for wars and lack of preparedness. Men must have leaders. en though able to walk alone, they will look for leaders. Even though capable alone of als MEET‘N, 5 G i § ee we) . } ‘ z ay hie S solving all life’s problems and of choosing the proper paths to tread, they will find leaders. Hence marriage is a permanent institution upon this earth. Sixes and Sevens HE CONSTITUTION says a mem- ber of Congress is “he.” Montana s it’s Miss Jeanette Rankin. Whoso pants to avenge the Constitution is ad- vised that when a difficulty confronted the farmers, they skirted it. 2 Minerva sprang from the head of Jove. Bostonese wisdom! Drawn from the bean! 2 Be sure your wife's right, then go ahead. —Boston Transcript. Why, she admits it. 2 With flour at $15 a barrel, swell chance Lazarus would have for those crumbs from the rich man’s table. 2 We make no charges as to who raised the price of the Pittsburg stogie, but where there's smoke, there’s fire. ¢ General Goethals goes on the retired list at his own request. Uncle Sam to the Panama slides: “Go thou and do likewise.” & Things to be thankful for: Thomas A. Edison got that LL.D. by telephone, but anyhow they didn’t yell ‘wrong number” at him. # Uncle Sam pays thousands on thou- sands in alimony for “temperament.” Will girls go risk matrimony without one?