Judge, 1916-12-30 · page 17 of 29
Judge — December 30, 1916 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page combines satirical aphorisms with period humor reflecting post-WWI anxieties. **Top Section:** Douglas Malloch's witty observations mock human nature—people seeking trouble, self-deception, and social pretense. The philosophical tone targets broad human foibles rather than specific figures. **Cartoon:** Mrs. Bigby's burglar anecdote satirizes marital relationships: when she hears a noise, her husband investigates, but the joke reveals he's indistinguishable from an intruder—mocking husbands as household nuisances. **Advertisements:** "Rare Bargains for 1920" ironically lists inflated post-war prices ($1.15 butter, 26-cent bread) as "bargains," satirizing severe inflation and food scarcity affecting ordinary Americans. **Bottom Humor:** Short jokes mock credit agencies (Bradstreet and Dun evaluating marriage prospects) and the era's self-help diet culture ("Eat and Grow Thin"). The marriage/divorce joke reflects anxieties about legal/social instability of the era. Overall, the page satirizes post-war economic hardship and marital skepticism through genteel wit.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE NOTION COUNTER OMETIME a restaurant manager is going to tell his waiters to make separate checks unless otherwise requested; and it is going to be a great invention. Some people are always looking for trouble. There is the man, for example, who looks inside a restau- rant sandwich. The world is divided into a lot of people who think they can sing and a fewwho can. I know that we pay for every joy with pain; and I hope it works the other way. 1 homely girl who can play a iano in the twilight has a chance. A man would rather deceive himself with an epigram than condemn himself with a truth. A man does not like to promise what he can’t perform, or a woman what she can. Life is all compensations. flow of language begins. ‘The devil doesn’t worry about the sermon if he can get the choir to whisper. The moon may be the emblem of lovers because it wa and wanes. A good way to keep out of court is to go see two lawyers. Truth is stranger than fiction, and most men want to be believed. He who never played the fool has never been the lover. A saint is a woman who saves some man from herself. In the ultimate no man saves time by eating fast. We go a long way every day in some direction. An aphorism is a truth that is not true.—Douglas Malloch When the flow of gasoline stops, the _ Mrs. Bigby (relating her experience with a burglar)—I heard a sort of noise and saw a pair of feet sticking out from under the Caller—Gracious! Burglar's ? Mrs. Bighy—No, my husband's. He had heard the noise too. Alice—Did he look through you with X-rays to see if an operation was necessary ? Arthur—Oh, no! He knew it wasn’t as soon as he looked through Bradstreet and Dun. RARE BARGAINS FOR 1920 AVY BEANS—Special on Saturday morning, 9 to 10, nicely decorated boxes of six standard size Be: . (Only one box to a customer.) Prunes—Half pound boxes of best prunes, assorted sizes—$ Eggs—Guaranteed hen eggs, fresh this season, in in- dividual cartons—14 cents cach. Special cartons con- taining five or six eggs, well wrapped—7o cents. Butter—Creame butter in one-pound cartons, weighing not less than seven ounces. Special from 10 to 10:15 Friday—$1.15. Bread—Your choice of 200 loaves of assorted standard makes. Must sell soon—26 cents each. Meats and vegetables of all kinds, well within the reach of bank presidents, railroad and munition magnates, and movie stars. All sales strictly cash, Cut Rate vcery and Delicatessen, Cor. Broadway and 42d.—//. W. Dee. Stationary Eat and Grow Thin” is now his creed; Its helpful hints he'll daily pull But he grows fatter yet, indeed; He practices “Treat and Grow Full.” Raising Hob He—This paper says that the decision of an Illinois court) may invalidate thousands of marriages. Why, that will raise hol She—Raise hob? Well, I should say! If our marriages aren’t legal, our divorces aren’t, either. A Way They Have Crawford—Does your wife believe everything you tell her about yours Crabshaw—No; she'd rather believe what everybody tells her about me. comicbooks.com